Is it ok to man block?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Is it ok to man block?
10
Tue, 08-21-2007 - 10:07pm
Do you think it's ok to warn a girl about a "bad boy"? I know a guy who is so disgusting to women when we go out ( hes with mutual friends, not me). I had a fling one night with him months back and since have realized what a jerk he is. He always hits on my friends and a few weeks ago he hit on my friends' friend and i warned her he should keep away from him b/c he treats women badly. Well apparently he is still upset weeks later at me for warning her, and they are now dating! Whys it matter if he has her now anyways? He wont let it go. Anyways here's my question: Is it ok to co*k block to protect someone or should you just let them learn the hard way?
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-21-2007 - 11:49pm

For me I believe in each adult needs to take responsibility of their own lives. If they don't ask me for my perspective, advice, or experience then I don't offer it.

Look back at your own life. Did you listen to other people's "wisdom?" We each have our own path to walk.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 4:13am
Though I definately do understand and respect your opinion, I do have to say that yes- I actually do listen to people's wisdom. And I do prefer people give me at least a heads up before I step into a hornets nest. It may not be my responsibility to do it, but I think its well intentioned. Then let them make up their own mind from there. Men and women probably have very different view of this situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 6:59am
I too, take other people's advice into consideration. I had this guy ask me out a few months back. Two of my girlfriends warned me he was trouble. I looked up his name in the local court dockets and it wasn't pretty. If I truly think a guy is a jerk, I would not hesitate to warn my girlfriend. It's her choice to date him, but a little forewarning doesn't hurt.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 7:44am

I agree with Mark on taking other people's "wisdom."

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 10:52am

I'd say let your friends learn the hard way. Especially since you have a past with this guy, they may just assume you're jealous.

I think your heart's in the right place, but it is their lesson to learn.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2005
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 10:54am
I also agree with Mark on principle - we all have our own paths and must learn for ourselves. And yet, advice is still important. I often look back to advice I once shunned, and it enriches my life and perspective once my path takes me to a place where I understand it.
As far as giving a heads up on a guy, I don't really see the harm. If it's not done out of jealousy, and it's done in a simple fact-based way as shy described, it could turn out to be helpful. Unfortunately, advice is very easily ignored in the midst of infatuation/hormones. And, of course the guy was mad at what you said - you're interfering with his game! Sure, he got this girl, but you could hurt his prospects in the future. :)
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 12:33pm
I don't know if it's considered "ok" to do such a thing, but I've definitely tried. I was basically in the exact same situation as yourself, and the "couple" ended up having a torrid two year affair. It ended disastrously, of course! Now I just keep my mouth shut. As Mark hinted at, most people won't take the advice anyway! They want to make and learn from their own mistakes I suppose!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 1:41pm

I think it's fine, you're friend can then take that tidbit of info and do with it whatever she chooses. I take everything I hear about other people with a grain of salt and draw my own conclusions. If a girlfriend warned me about a guy it wouldn't stop me from going out with him once or twice but I would remain more alert to the things she mentioned and watch for a trend.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 1:43pm

Someone told me that when people ASK for advice they usually want to validate what they already want to do and ignore it if it does not match it. This usually frustrates the advice giver.

I know for myself I resent people who give me unsolicited advice.

So for any comments given here, it always depends on the individuals involved in the situation on whether or not it is "appropriate" to do/say whatever it is.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 3:13pm
Thanks for the advice everyone. This gives me many perspectives to look at. I did give her facts as of why I was warning her. I guess she will have to learn the hard way.