Calling on an old love...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2007
Calling on an old love...
2
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 9:53pm

Yes. This is another "first love" question. I still do love him and I still care about him but I have no desire to be in a relationship with him again. Actually, I just moved away from a man I just started to love and become comfortable with. I want to find something else to occupy my mind. That's where my ex comes in. I'm thinking about him alot and I do want to catch up and possibly get involved sexually with him. I tried calling his cell number but it must've changed. His sister was an acquaintance of mine and I'm wondering if I should contact her to get his number. I don't even know if he's in a relationship or married.

Is it a good idea for me to contact her about him and ask about his relationship status and for his contact info??? If so, what's the best way to ask. (She and I would go out on rare occasions and were in school together)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 3:57am
This really depends on the status of your relationship ending. Was it rocky? Were you just not right together? I think if it ended bad that calling him is a bad idea, but if it was very mutual i say what's the harm, as long as you can handle it. Also, if the relationship was ended by you and he was hurt, don't call. That will get his hopes up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 1:07pm

I believe in leaving the past in the past.

You admitted that you just left another relationship in which you really cared for the person. You say you don't want a relationship with the old fling, but want to "catch up and possibly get involved sexually with him."

In my opinion, that sounds like a recipe for disaster. If he was a first love, think about if it is really possible for you to be sexually involved and not get emotionally involved as well. If he's really not a good match for you - why go back at all?

I would let yourself get over the recent guy, and don't bring up old baggage that might get in the way of truly moving on.

AJ, enjoying life with C.