Swallowing my pride

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Swallowing my pride
56
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 8:49pm

I swore I'd never put a profile (err...excuse me, "portrait") back up on match.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 9:07pm
I get the feeling that OLD is sorta on its way out now. In my experience, it's not taken seriously at all. There are so many sites, it's mind-boggling. Everyone's looking for the bigger, better deal it seems. I think it'll work if you just think of it like a bunch of first meets and that's it - then you'll be okay. Maybe others can give you more positive answers.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 9:32pm

>>Everyone's looking for the bigger, better deal it seems.

Yup. I see some women who have been there for nearly two years now.. and still log in EVERY day ! There is one woman in her early thirties, blond and I guess doing ok, but her upper age limit has steadily crept up over the months to where it now stands at 49 ! I suppose the prospect of dating someone in his 50s still poses a psychological barrier.

What could she want that she is not getting ? What could be so wrong with the guys in her age group ?? I know. She wants nothing short of perfection. In her mind if she could have waited till her early thirties to find her man, then by golly, it will be Mr Atlas or nobody. But she will learn her lesson eventually. The market is never wrong.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 7:41am

I have had similar luck as you with OLD. I've posted my profile on match.com two different times, and both times I swore I'd never do it again. The last time was in the fall of '04.

Each time I posted, I did get a lot of initial emails, but then it petered out (no pun intended!) But I find that so many of the men don't even read my profile, I'm sure they are just sending out emails to a large group of women, hoping one will reply. And then of course there are the winks. I simply do not respond to a wink. I also can't stand guys who post tons of photos of themselves, or guys that post photos of themselves without a shirt or standing next to their Porsche.

Plus, I do not contact men first anymore. For me, I feel I spent too much of my life pursuing men, and now I am of the mind that "men pursue, women attract." I may be the only woman who does this, but that's just how it is.

I have also wondered what is going to come along and replace OLD. For me, the whole OLD thing depresses me and makes me feel worse. In spite of all of that, I still think about trying again because there has been NO action since I stopped OLD.

Let us know how it goes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2006
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 9:05am
I have given up on online dating. Everytime I am on only the guys who have absolutely nothing in common with me respond. I have gone on and seen married men I know with a profile, or all the others who put in "tell you later" about their relationship status.
It's just a turn off to me, but I have had a string of bad luck with it. It's a waste of money.
Amie Choiniere Office Manager~Mom~Domestic Goddess~Student~Wine Lover~Girlfriend~Gardener~Decorator~Vinyl Wall Lettering Queen!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2007
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 9:07am

I'm one of those people who also fell hook line and sinker for creating a portrait with Match. I was excited and optimistic at first, but almost three weeks into my subscription I have yet to meet anyone that I consider a good match for me. Mind you, I do live in a small town, and theoretically it's always harder to find men in a smaller town (my opinon), but the date (keyword date) that I have been on, the person was nothing like he seemed in his profile.

And then, of course, there are the piles of men on there who are "new in town" and just looking for something fun. I thought online dating was supposed to be for people who are looking for something more than "fun".

Let's just say that I will definately not be renewing my subscription next month.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 10:05am
For me, it just DOESN'T happen that way. I suppose it might be the right choice for some people, but definitely not for me. First of all, it's not romantic at all ("how'd you guys meet?" "well, we were 95% compatible, so I sent her an electronic wink"). I'm not a mushy, lovey dovey person, but still, come on. It bothers me how sites like eharmony can pretend love and attraction is all about science and logic and compatibility on stupid, often shallow, preferences and questions. I was only on match for a couple months when I was in London and knew no one (and just wanted to date since I was only there for four months) and the only guys who ever contacted me were majorly sketchy. The dates I did go on I had to seek out, which is time consuming and gets tiring and irritating after a while. Even people I know who swore by online dating and now have significant others didn't even meet them online! So why waste the money???
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 10:09am

I have tried Match, Yahoo and eHarmony (oh, and Plentyoffish - the free site, scary).

I am currently on eHarmony, and I have found that I have better luck there with people making and maintaining contact. I have also met quite a few non-scary, cute guys.

I have considered giving Match another go, though, because eHarmony can get a little overwhelming. There's no way to organize your matches, and photos don't show up on the preview screen -- when they have matched you with five Marks, you can lose track of who's who. Other than that, I do like their guided communication - it forces guys to actually share some real information before meeting you, so the first meet is based on more real info. and you have something to talk about.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 10:13am

>>Plus, I do not contact men first anymore. For me, I feel I spent too much of my life pursuing men, and now I am of the mind that "men pursue, women attract." I may be the only woman who does this, but that's just how it is.<<

Nope. I'm with you. I absolutely refuse to do the chasing anymore.

>>I have also wondered what is going to come along and replace OLD. For me, the whole OLD thing depresses me and makes me feel worse. In spite of all of that, I still think about trying again because there has been NO action since I stopped OLD.<<

Yeah, me too. I have given it several tries, in short bursts, and I always end up feeling like I've met a string of people but can't get past the surface layer with them before they are on to the "next bigger, better thing."

I do know one married couple who met on Match, so I suppose it does work for some people. I just think it's another way to meet, and you have no guarantee of finding a better match online than in person.

I have met some guys in real life, but there are definitely much longer dating lulls when I'm not doing OLD.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 10:21am

>>I have also wondered what is going to come along and replace OLD.

Have you guys ever seen the cable TV personals? Some are absolutely HILARIOUS (I first watched with a friend when we were hanging around drinking a bottle of wine on a Saturday night...it definitely provided much entertainment :) ) and some seem ok....I still don't think I'd do it, but it seems maybe a tiny bit above merely seeing someone's picture and a questionnaire. I know they ask random (ie. potentially normal) people, too...my friends and I were asked if we wanted to record something while we were at the beach one day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 10:31am

I've never heard of that. What channel?

Now that's something I'd never do. Too exposed. :)

AJ, enjoying life with C.

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