at a dead end with family

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
at a dead end with family
23
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 7:48am
Sometimes I feel like all my parents and grandmother are doing are just waiting for me to get married and have kids already and that because i'm over 30 and still single, they sort of don't know what to say to me anymore. all of their friends are planning weddings, awaiting babies, talking about their grandkids, visiting their grandkids, and she has nothing to add. she even mentioned to me once that two of her friends talk and talk about their children and their children's spouses and grandkids and "she has nothing to add." After speaking with my mother recently it occurred to me that we just have nothing to talk about. Our conversations have gotten really short and the only thing that seems to interest her is gossip. When I bring up subjects outside of gossip, she sounds bored with the subject, changes it, or even if it has to do with an interesting news event she'll just say "that's too depressing I don't want to think about it," or "I don't care, it has nothing to do with my life." I get the feeling all she wants are grandchildren to talk about and she doesn't have them, so I've become someone who bores her. do any other singles out there feel like this has happened with their parents?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 9:28am

Wow, that really sucks Nancy. And I'm sory to hear that. I can't say that is the situation inmy family as none of the woman in mine are married (most are divorced or never married) and they generally have a lower view of men, marriage and relationships in general so I don't get any pressue to marry, though they somehow do want to see me buy a house and have a baby...without a man.


Either way, I think its sad that so many women view motherhood and marriage as the be-all of a women's existence and can't imagine having a full life without it. Have you tried to explain to her how this makes you feel? I realize older generations probably have a harder time understanding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2006
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 12:14pm
I know how you feel Nancy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 12:14pm

My condolences.

Soliel
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 1:22pm

>>do any other singles out there feel like this has happened with their parents?<<

Hah ! I almost dread making those weekly Thursday night calls to my parents. It's almost like presenting a status report on where I am with meeting women. And this being a GUY ! We talk about everything under the sun - from family, to the weather , to politics to whatever. But I know in the back of their minds there is only one thing they want to know.

My canned reply is 'I have told you before, I am looking. Still looking. !! If something happens I will let you know'. ("And when will that be? After we are long dead and buried ??") OK, that last sentence was mine, not theirs. But that's what they think.

I know they mean well but sometimes it gets a little exasperating.




Edited 9/13/2007 1:39 pm ET by capegirardeau
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 2:14pm

Well, I've sort of posted about this before because my mother wants grandkids so bad... she never misses an opportunity to talk about other people's kids/grandkids and in my opinion, while she SAYS she doesn't think everyone has to have kids, I do think she buys into the thought that

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 2:38pm

I don't really understand why some people think having kids is the end-all-be-all of life and that it's odd not to want children....I can understand the emotional desire to have grandkids and that some people innately just really want to be parents, but if you don't, who cares??

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 3:12pm
Wait another 10 years and you will know. Women (females) are biologically programmed to want to become mothers. Wanting a relationship is only a prelude to what they hope will eventually lead to motherhood.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 3:23pm
That may be true, but there ARE women who have no desire to have children.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 3:12pm

"Women (females) are biologically programmed to want to become mothers. Wanting a relationship is only a prelude to what they hope will eventually lead to motherhood."


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


You're not a woman, right?


Then I'll pass on trying to reason with you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 4:21pm
>> hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha








Edited 9/14/2007 4:33 pm ET by capegirardeau

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