Younger guy.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Younger guy.....
12
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 7:47pm
Hello. Ok so Im back into the dating scene and I guess Im having some fun now until I meet the right guy. Well I met a guy a couple of weeks ago. The problem is that he is incredible young and I know that Im taking a big risk by speaking with him. Hes ONLY 22. I am 27 and I know thats horrible...I realize that he is probable not looking for a relationship which is fine because im playing the field for a lil until i find the RIGHT man. I know its not him but he is a nice guy and we hit it off right from the start. We went out to dinner, to the city, He took me out on his boat, I met his parents, I went to his house, we went out dancing..It was great...well until this week. All of a sudden the phone calls started to slow up...then 2 days ago he texts me and says "why am i the one always calling?" ok fine so i called him...he sounded completely normal. I asked if he wanted to get together yesterday. He said that he had a friends bday party but i could come out and meet him which is fine to me...I asked him to call and remind me..He said he would. Then we hung up and he promised he would call. He never did...I texted him friday afternoon "Whats up" and he never responded. I didnt hear from him..I still havent...I know that he has a busy schedule..school...work..(even on the weekends)..but come on..Im much older and I know how this works. I know he doesnt want anything serious but when u say your gonna call then call or even text ya know??!! Tell me that you would rather hang out with your friends..or even another girl...Do you think I should call or text him?? I dont want to seem desperate because im not!! and because i am older than him. Help I dont understand guys..even at a young age!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 7:52pm

Hmmmm. I wonder if it was your comment "call and remind me"....that may have rubbed him the wrong way or made him not feel important....?


I wouldn't call or text him anymore......You will hear from him again...


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Sun, 09-30-2007 - 9:44pm
Thanks for your response...well I broke down and last nite I did text him Hi. He did respond right away. I asked him if he was having a good night and he responded with " I am about to go to bed" " I am going out on my boat tomorrow". I still have not heard from him. I dont think what I said was that big of a deal...I didnt mean it like that. I said def "Yes I will def come..call me tomorrow and remind me of the time and stuff" he never called. I dont understand guys. I guess I am not what he thought I was and is turned off. I am kinda upset because I never got a chance to actually get to know him well because it has only been 3 weeks already. He never got a chance to really know me.Plus the physical attraction was there in full effect. Maybe its the age?? or maybe hes just immature?? I t hink there are other girls and that he doesnt want to settle for just one...but why not be honest and tell me that he isnt interested anymore?? Is he keeping me on the back burner?? I dont understand because our first date was sooo great and I felt like we connected both mentally and physically. What is wrong with me?? Is it my personality?? I dont understand and this is gonna be a situation in which I will probable never get an answer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2006
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 10:58am

I agree with the other poster. I know you didn't mean for the reminder to rub him the wrong way, but it may have, especially since he already felt like he was the one initiating contact. I think he has been pretty forward with his feelings, and I think he was 'testing' you when the calls slowed down. If he felt he was the one always initiating contact and then you want to be reminded to do something with him, that would indicate maybe not as much interest as he has in you.


I think he likes you way more than you think, and he took the comment a different way than you meant it. I would call him and clear the air.


Amie

Amie Choiniere Office Manager~Mom~Domestic Goddess~Student~Wine Lover~Girlfriend~Gardener~Decorator~Vinyl Wall Lettering Queen!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 3:01pm
Ok so I texted him and he is responding to me like nothing is wrong. I asked him how his weekend was and stuff. Now should I ask him to hang out or should I wait for him to mention it? I feel like I ask him all the time to get together and he says he cant because of his schedule, etc. Like I asked him to wing night last week because we went there 2 weeks ago and had a great time but he said its rough now with his schedule. I asked him to get together last sat but he wanted to go out with his friends instead and then I asked him regarding last friday and he said he would call me and we would meet up but he never did. What should i do? i want to see if he would be interested in seeing me again...I hope im not being psycho lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 7:23pm

I do think he likes you...but I also think he likes to hang out with his friends....My suggestion is to play it cool...I would let him initiate contact now since you have txt him twice...and let him make the next suggestion about getting together.............then you will be able to gage how he is feeling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 9:50pm
Ok so just an update on my issue with this younger guy. I texted him and yes he does reply...however with one word answers or sentences and never asks about me. Well I just decided to call and see what happens. Texting is one thing but I think just in case he did feel he did most of the calling, I would call him. I called him and left a message and he has not called me back in 3 days. I assume at this point its over. I really dont understand. We liked talking to each other and we had a great time together. I went out with all his friends and even met his parents even though that wasnt planned!! I donnt understand why Im still thinking about him. I know that it would not have probable worked because he is more immature and prob wants to date other girls and isnt interested in a GF but I had the feeling I might have have changed that and he was interested in me. I hope I didnt screw anything up or say anything dumb!! What if I blew it!! Why the heck do I still think about him!! Help,
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2007
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 11:43am

Hey,


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 12:52pm

Hi Hardcorechic,


I was curious how things were going...I think you pretty much have your answer. I would just let it go...You will probably even here from him again in the near future...bc that is what normally happens...hopefully by then you will be over your crush on him and tell him to move on.


I doubt seriously that it's anything YOU did..or didn't do....no matter how much we try to replay everything we said or did...9 times out of 10..it has nothing to do with US.......it's all about him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 4:02pm

HI there


We are sorry you are suffering so.

Soliel
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 7:15pm
Thank you all for your replies!! Well just an update..One of my best friends is dating a friend of his...well they arent close friends..They are just friends through a club that they are a part of...anyway..he told me that this guy is not very nice. He sleeps with alot of girls and then doesnt call them. He also bounces from girl to girl. My friend told me this now because she actually told him that thus guy hasnt called me. He even told me flat out that he is not a nice guy and why the heck am I still talking to him?? He asked me this the last time we hung out. I am wondering if the real reason why he stopped talking to me is because I wasnt an easy lay. I dont like sleeping with guys right away and would rather get to know them, etc. In general I like taking things slow overall. I am thinking maybe thats why?? I keep guessing and I will never know the answer. I mean I texted him and called him all the time. At first he did alot...but I also returned the favor however I didnt want to smother him or scare him off ya know...I knew he was young and I was afraid that by calling all the time, he would get scared thinking I would want alot more....In the long run could I see myself having a long term relationship with this guy...prob not...but I did wish he would at least still talk to me and be my friend.We did have the best convos and talk about the most random things. Maybe he will stop and realize what he did...

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