single and so alone

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
single and so alone
7
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 5:56pm

i cant make this a very long post because i have to be off the computer soon, but the thing is........

im single....and i always have been.......im 26 in march and ive never had a boyfriend, guys have never liked me, ive never been kissed and im a virgin.

im get so lonely sometimes. its horrible :S

but ive known for a long time that im going to be alone forever. ive known it since i was 16, i had a pen pal (who im still friends with now) and in a letter in 1998 she said about herself that shed never had a boyfriend and she knew she was going to be alone forever and no guys would like her etc.

and i thought "oh my god, what a horrible thing to say about yourself......"

and within about a week or so i started thinking it about MYSELF. and i have ever since. and its nearly 10 years ago.


im so alone :S and i feel like such a freak, and im so shy about guys too.

and im shy about myself, about my figure, about me, like for instance if a guy DID like me, id feel horrible and weird and freaked out and stuff.

agrh i want to write more but i have to go, ill write an edited version of this post tommorow

i hope someone can help me,

i sometimes cry myself to sleep at night and just so badly want to be held

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 7:47pm

What's that quote...Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right?


Your believe that no one will ever want you is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 8:22pm

First of all ((((HUGS)))). We all have those times when we feel a bit self-concisious. I have been there too. I was single for a while and have felt like I would be alone forever. But the key is to think that you will find love, even if it is hard to find that special someone.


I encourage to work on building your self-esteem and confidence. You are a prize, whether you a man in your life or not. Focus on becoming

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 1:20pm
We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 3:04pm

 Z

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 3:10pm

Shy hit the nail on the head. You will have to work on your thoughts first. As long as you think you will never find anyone, you will attract that into your life. Begin to take notice of your negative thoughts and change them into positive ones.

Example: I will always be alone becomes I will never be alone. I will never have a boyfriend becomes the man of my dreams is on his way to me. Practice doing this and you will see results in your life.

Hugs,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2007
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 9:49pm

I just want to give you a big hug. Here's the thing. Throw the nervousness about men and being a virgin RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW. Because the person you eventually sleep with, will love you the most for that because it's a rare and beautiful thing.

NOW, ABOUT BEING LONELY. I have tried this theory and what I have learned is: YOU CANNOT MEET ANY BOYS IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE.

Now I am at an age where all my GF's have BF's and since I want to meet guys, I wonder, how the hell amd I gonna accomplish that. EASY. I think about what I would like to do. Go see art, go to a wine tasting, take a photography class, go on a hiking trip.

Now I want you to think about what you would like to do. AND THEN: Go to meetup.com. There they have a whole bunch of gals like you and me who join these clubs. You go to events and everybody is coming alone so you never have to be embarassed that you did too.

Right away you will have things to talk about because you are going to something THAT YOU LIKE. If guys makes you nervous, talk to girls, practice, come out of your shell. If one night bombs out, try another one.

Then tell us all how it goes!!! But the biggest thing - DON'T LEAP TO THE SEX THING, or you will only put a huge roadblock in front of you. Think of this assignment like something you are doing to improve yourself and have more fun.

xo Kay
www.100daysinbed.blogspot.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 5:48am

Blues,
About your statement,

"but ive known for a long time that im going to be alone forever. ive known it since i was 16, i had a pen pal (who im still friends with now) and in a letter in 1998 she said about herself that shed never had a boyfriend and she knew she was going to be alone forever and no guys would like her etc."

Be careful of friends like this and what kind of impact their statements have on you. Even a friend who is a good friend and well-meaning can end up spreading toxicity. They say they're down and before you know it, so are you. I have a friend who does this to me. Great person, but he's always bitching and moaning and before I know it I'm complaining along with him. Remember the old saying, "misery loves company." I believe this happens between friends a lot more than people realize. If you're a good friend to someone of course you listen to them but that doesn't mean you owe it to them to join them in their unhappiness.

It's very, very easy to fall into this sort of thinking. A good-intentioned friend can suck someone right into their pain without even planning on it.

Otherwise, don't worry about your virginity. I lost mine to an a*&h^$# and later wish I saved it for someone else because it would have been a much more positive experience worth remembering.