Advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Advice
4
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 11:16am

Hi all!


I need some advice on something.


There’s this guy that I’ve known for several months now. We met at my gym (he’s a personal trainer there). We would chat every time I’d see him there, and we eventually exchanged numbers and began talking on the phone quite infrequently, maybe a few times a month. Anyway, I was never blown away by him, not because he’s unattractive or anything. It’s just that I have a lot of personal issues going on and haven’t really been thinking much about dating anyone.


Anyway, we’ve been talking more frequently, as he calls to check on me to see how I'm doing. I always thought it was a sweet thing to do, but I never thought that he was interested in me, but that he was just being nice.


So, he called me last night and suggested that we get together tonight. I’m game, however, here’s the kicker: he suggested that we hang out AT ONE OF OUR PLACES and rent a movie and make some drinks. Now, I’m open to that; however, not for a first date, you know?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
In reply to: mali2579
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 11:39am
I have noticed a trend in the dating habits of men lately that this happens to be one of them and it's just laziness in my opinion. They hope to get right to the getting of the goods. I would just say, I would rather go out, I've been looking forward to checking out "XX" restaurant and see what he says. Unless you've known him for awhile and feel comfortable having him over to your house for a first date than he's a stranger to you. I wouldn't feel comfortable having him over either.

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Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
In reply to: mali2579
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 12:05pm
Ditto.


Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mali2579
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 12:28pm

It could be laziness/cheapness, or it could be he's just thinking of you as a bud.


I would counter with a suggestion of meeting out somewhere--hopefully once you get together, you'll have a better sense of whether he's interested in dating you or if he wants to be friends.


Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
In reply to: mali2579
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 3:14pm

I don't like first dates at someone's house. I would suggest an alternative as in going to see a movie or meeting at a local pub for drinks.