Bitter & Frustrated--what can I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2003
Bitter & Frustrated--what can I do?
14
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 3:14pm
OK, this is a bit of a venting post, but I swear I am at my wits end. I'm so sick of dating...putting myself out there, getting my hopes up and then finally finding a guy I like only to find he's not interested in me. At 33 years old I don't know how much more I can take--I'm sick of watching friend after friend find their perfect match while I have no one. I'm sick of being forced to continually find new friends when my friends marry and suddenly have no time for me. I'm mature, attractive, fun and witty--in fact every guys best friend, but time and time again end up being just the buddy. I don't date cheaters, losers, or people that don't treat me well so its definitely not that I'm looking in the wrong places. I'm putting myself out there. I don't fall in love with anyone who pays me attention--in fact I'm very down to earth and realistic about who I like (ie I have to like them for who they are, not just b/c they are paying attention to me)--hence the fact I don't like many people so even having crushes is few and far between. In fact the last three guys I've even been at all interested in I've later found out is already taken. its just so frustrating. All I ask for is a guy who is kind, makes me laugh, treats me well and who I find attractive--so I'm not too picky. I have a full life and a career and friends I enjoy. In other words, there is nothing wrong with ME, nothing I can "fix" or that I'm doing wrong. So why can't i find my happy ending? Yes, I'm happy by myself and have been for SEVEN years but at the same time I want a family, a husband and kids and am sick of waiting. How do I keep going through this another day???

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 4:16pm

What are you doing to "put yourself out there"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 4:23pm
>> at the same time I want a family, a husband and kids and am sick of waiting..



No,no, no, you are not looking for any of that. That's what you tell yourself. If you really did, you would have found it long ago like many of your friends you went to college with.



What you are looking for -- is a drug to give you a high. Metaphorically speaking of course.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 5:20pm

 Z

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 6:41pm
No,no, no.. I am not cold. Not in the least. And neither am I condescending. If anything, I am quite the opposite. But that's what newcomers to the board tend to think. Heck, many people on this board who are not newcomers think that about me anyway. :) If you want to know what real condescension is, you should try reading the profiles of some of the women on any number of dating sites out there. Or better still trying emailing them. I just happen to like being direct and tend to speak my mind without sugar coating. Sometimes I am sarcastic, sometimes tongue-in-cheek not be taken literally, but since communication is only through written text without the help of voice or facial expressions, what I say can easily be misinterpreted as being rude, cold and condescending when it's not. Tone of the voice is a huge part of communication. In fact quite often how something is said is more important that what is being said. Again all that is easily lost in the flatness of written text. And finally... sometimes just speaking the plain old truth alone will make people appear mean and cold, thus the need for political correctness.



ps: I also tend to use emoticons sparingly which can make things harder to interpret. But I will make an exception here, ok ?



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Edited 1/9/2008 6:59 pm ET by hillaryh8er
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 9:55pm

 Z

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 11:51am

Hillaryh8er


I am not sure if it matters if your intent is to not be this way.

Soliel
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 3:03pm
I'm sorry I you're going through this imissy41. I don't have any advice I'm afraid, but I feel your pain. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 3:25pm

Hello everyone,


This is a reminder about our Terms of Service (TOS http://www.ivillage.com/help/tos.html) and Rules of Play (http://www.ivillage.com/boards/0,,b46m,00.html). Because this is a public forum, some argument is to be expected, as well as that not everyone will agree with your opinions. However, please remember to

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 3:52pm
Aah. The obligatory reminder. We are all well behaved children, Mod. For the most part. I promise you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 4:15pm
>> .. several people are feeling that you are this way, this is what matters. With or without your intent, this is how you are coming across...



Yes, yes, I hear you. My apologies. I keep forgetting we are living in an Oprahized society where it's fashionable to shed tears, where shedding tears wins you applause, and to be offended at every little thing, and to have hurt feelings, and then to talk about your hurt feelings, and your feelings about your feelings, and how you feel about feeling about your feelings.. Sigh. Yes, I understand we are living in a feel-o-centric society. My apologies again to all offendees.

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