Trying to move life forward

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Trying to move life forward
7
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 3:57pm

Hi Single friends....


I just feel like sharing.


I just got back from a cruise and immediately when we arrived in port, I started feeling anxious.

Soliel
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 12:48pm

I have an ex, that I had to officially cut ties with a looooong time ago. We dated when we were in high school and when we had split up many years ago....we still remained in contact. However, he had quickly changed, got involved w/the wrong ppl, was cold, got into drinking and drugs. He got so wild I had no choice but to wash my hands of him, if I wanted to "live", kwim? Sometime you have to cut certain ppl out of your life if you want to progress and move forward. In other words, you can't afford to have some ppl bring you down. I didn't wait around for him to change, I continue to live my life and progress forward wo/him. And you may have to do the same. But that will be a decission entirely up to you.

Good luck & keep us posted!

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2004
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 4:04pm

Soleil,


I hear everything you are saying and can relate 100% to all of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 5:50pm

Yes, I'd much rather and hang out with someone who is sweet and humble then someone who has traveled all over, was very dynamic but looks down his nose at us "plebs" who simply led a pretty regular life taking care of business, etc.


I swear he does that to shore up his self-esteem at being penniless and things blowing up for him abroad.

Soliel
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 4:12pm

Good for you in recognizing that you need to do something different and to recognize that the old love is not really a match for you today.


Comment on you feel deficient next to your old love: I find that I usually feel bad when I compare my life with others so I don't do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 8:37pm

OF course you are right....on two accounts.


I agree we should not compare.

Soliel
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2007
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 9:09pm

I can definitely speak on this. I let my ex-fiancee go over a year ago! At first I was sad and was very resentful about all the years I gave to the relationship, all the work I put into him. About 6 months after, I began to have more joy than I have had in all of my adult life! I fell inlove with me! I dont' compare, I don't compete. I had to forgive myself for not living my life for me and doing what I truly enjoy doing. You say you are sad. Please seek professional help and antidepressant. Once my depression lifted, it was a new day. Also, having professional can help you get unstuck as you appear to be. Not going foward, just stuck in the past. Letting my ex-go was the best thing that ever happened to me! And I have goals and dreams. But I enjoy today and today only. Please take my advice. Trust me he isn't even thinking of you. Men who are not truly inlove with you, just move on like the relationship meant nothing. Please stop wasting your precious

Chelle-

Amour-Propre

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 12:14pm

Hot Carmel


You sound like an absolute sweetie.

Soliel