The only one left

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
The only one left
10
Thu, 01-17-2008 - 12:29am

Hey everyone! I havent posted in a while, but I just have some weird.... issues lately.... ok, lately it seems almost everyone in my life is either married, engaged, or getting engaged. Lately its making me go crazy. I literally feel like the only one "left" almost, inadequate. A friend of mine eloped last week. Another old room mate of mine just got engaged after only dating his girlfriend for 5 months! My sister, is not engaged yet but thats all she talks about and what her "future plans" are w/ her BF. I feel left out, lonely, sad. And mainly, I feel like my life SUCKS. Almost like its a "happiness" i will never know. Its almost as if I want to be part of the cool married peoples club. I guess I should backtraft a tad. I am 24 years old, and quite honestly, as this stage in my life, I do NOT want to get married. I have so many goals that dont include a husband, but its almost suffocating. Everywhere I go. THats all my girlfriends want to talk about. Its almost more of a life "accomplishment" to get married than to even graduate college. I guess I am just feeling very insufficiant to everyone else's life. My friends myspace page is filled w/ cute wedding photos. Mine is filled w/ pics of my dog. I just feel like my life is lame compaired to everyone elses. I know its not a contest, or a competition, but i just feel like it is. You know?


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Thu, 01-17-2008 - 7:55am

Hey there Bailey & welcome :-)


I can somewhat empathize w/you because I have days like that a lot.

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
Thu, 01-17-2008 - 9:55am

Just wanted to let you know that at your age, 24, I was walking down the aisle and getting married. I didn't even think I would marry so young - I wasn't in a hurry but it happened.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Thu, 01-17-2008 - 10:25am

'..I fully believe you can't make a rational decision before the age of 25'


Absolutely. Although... 25, you think? I'd say 30. With very rare super-mature exeptions, honestly, you don't even know who you are till you're 30. You think you do, but you don't. I'd personally

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Thu, 01-17-2008 - 11:47am

Absolutely. Although... 25, you think? I'd say 30. With very rare super-mature exeptions, honestly, you don't even know who you are till you're 30.


****


I'll go with the 25'ish idea. From 18 to 25 it was like I was almost two different human beings. After 25 . .I have changed some, but slow, stable predictable changes

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Thu, 01-17-2008 - 12:33pm

'..The big huge value system is in place by 25 or so I think'.


Absolutely, agree, well said too. For marriage though, 'for ever and ever till deth do us part' etc etc.. I still say 30 at the earliest lol. Unless we ban it alltogether? :))

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Thu, 01-17-2008 - 12:55pm

Absolutely, agree, well said too. For marriage though, 'for ever and ever till deth do us part' etc etc.. I still say 30 at the earliest lol. Unless we ban it alltogether? :))


**


For some 25 is still to young. The "settle for" conversations that happen on the board . . .it is often obvious to me why relationships aren't working. (-: Lust gets confused with love, money gets confused with success and security, good looks get confused with attraction . . . pick your cliches. (-: Sometimes I honestly shake my head and smile at what I read. (-: Of coarse I am just a guy who has gotten it wrong before and sees some of those "old" thoughts glaring back at me. ((-: And I am as likely to get it wrong again as right in the end. ((-: Knowing what I was getting wrong last time doesn't tell me what I will get wrong next time.


But

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Thu, 01-17-2008 - 11:59pm
Wow thanks for all the replies on this! I too do not even plan to get married before age 30... I just think the 20s are too young. Besides I dont even know what
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2006
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 9:55am
I'll be 29 this year and I totally agree with the 25 thing. I did the most growing in my early 20s. I am so glad I used that time to date, live alone, take course, and really find out what I wanted in my life and in my relationships. I think 25 is probably the earliest to be in a serious permanent long term relationship. Before that, you haven't finished growing IMHO.
Pregnancy ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 12:14pm

The married people's club thing made me laugh!

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2007
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 8:05pm

>>Life shouldnt be a race, because the faster you run, the faster it ends.

Chelle-

Amour-Propre