I think I need therapy......

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2007
I think I need therapy......
3
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 7:42pm

Ok, I know I've posted about this before..wondering if there was something wrong with me..bc I don't like dating, I will be 40 next month..etc...first of all..YES, I've dated..I've been in 3 serious relationships..I've partied all night....been there done alllll of that..........


I think seriousely by 40, I am just tired of TRYING........I don't dream of being in love, being married, having kids..etc...in fact I get extremely stressed when I think about a relationship....very claustrophobic...I am so used to doing my own thing and not having to worry about anyone else...I am so happy being single..and no one seems to understand it.......I do not get depressed when I think about what is missing from my life........I am strangely very content being single...living alone with my dog!! I am very attractive (not to brag...), career oriented, indepenedent, and very proud of what I have done with my life thus far.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 10:48pm

It's up to you if you want to try counseling. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to stay single. I have a cousin who is 55 and single & has never married....and she is perfectly happy to tell you the truth. Your post describes me pretty much. I'm independent and like having my own place w/my own privacy. I mean, sure I miss the companionship sometimes.....but right now I don't want to be in a relationship. I went out on a date here while back with a guy that I "thought" was nice...come to find out he's a freak, is shorter than me (I'm 6ft tall btw) and he was wanting a fast forward relationship. He didn't seem to comprehend,.....lets just be friends and see what happens. Oh no, he wanted to meet my family and move in w/me in six months.......and he said all of this to me after the first date, FIRST date. WTH???

I know not all guys are like that,....but I don't want to date right away or anytime soon either. I like being my own person and being able to come and go as I please, if that makes sense. Sometimes I wish I had a bf, but yet, I don't want to be tied down in a relationship at this very moment either. I don't think there is anything wrong with you, but if you want to try counseling, that is entirely up to you hun.

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2006
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 9:12pm
I don't think there's anyting wrong with you either! I think that you've been dating for a long time and may be jaded/tired with the whole thing. Take a break. Have fun with your life and don't date until your ready to. Also, there's nothing wrong with being picky. When i was younger and even up until a few months ago, i considered dating guys with the "good personality" but not that cute. BORING! I would spend the while time wishing i could be attracted to them. I think I was doing this because deep down I didn't think I could get a cute guy. Anyway, im no longer doing that. Im hot dammit and I want the HOT guy..and that's what im gonna get!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 10:28pm

I think therapy can really help when you're looking to make a change, or if you need help dealing with change, but this doesn't seem like your situation.


You defintiely don't need to have a romantic relationship, and if you can form relationships with others (family, friends, coworkers) then you know how to deal with people.