Sometimes its hard to be single...
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| Sun, 02-03-2008 - 4:32pm |
I don't know where to start this except to tell you a little about myself. I am 41, divorced 3 years ago, went to school finished my degree and moved to a new town. I am attractive, make a six figure salary and I have never felt more alone in my life than I do now.
I have barely any family (just my Dad and two brothers who wouldn't care if I were dead). I have 2 great girlfriends that I have been friends with forever but they both have husbands and families and are really, really hard to make plans with.
I have tried to make friends at work but most of the women there are raising young children and I have nothing in common with them at all (lunch becomes hearing them complain about their husbands and talk, talk, talk about their kids non-stop). The men at work are married and hitting on me.
In the last year I have taken great trips by myself - once to Tuscany and the other to the South Pacific so its not like I am sitting home feeling sorry for myself but I do sometimes.
How does one make new friends? How do you fit in in suburbia where everyone else has the whole family thing going on?
Sometimes I feel like such an outsider and a freak. Any advice would be helpful.

Curious as to why you made the decision to move to the burbs--was it for work?
Hi Tina. Welcome.
Today I am having a bad day being single...sad for myself...so remember that as I answer your post.
I am 41 and I, as well as others our age and above can relate to this.
Thanks for answering Sheri. I have always lived in the burbs and moved to the town I am in now to be closer to work (I am only 4 miles away which is great). Not so great of course is the isolation I am feeling.
I live 45 minutes by train away from NYC and probably could get a job there (albeit I have heard the expenses is crazy). I just don't know if that would be the answer or not. I am sure there are many that live in a city that feel just as isolated.
Oh, heck, there's loads to do in NYC (I lived in Manhattan for about 7 years) and you're only 45 minutes away!
Thanks for the compliment lv2breathe. It was a very courageous time in my life. I knew that I had to make a lot more money than I was when I decided to divorce so I went for it. Its funny when I think about it now I see that I was so focused on making sure I could support myself that I didn't pay attention to harvesting friends. I lost some friends in the divorce as well.
You are right about suburbia being torture because its difficult to find others like me.
I didn't use the word freak to describe single women - in fact I admire most single women I know greatly. I used the word "freak" to describe myself because I feel like I don't fit in.
PS. I am sorry for you are feeling sad for yourself today too...but glad to know I am not alone. Thank you for answering my post.
You're an attractive woman who earns six figures? You're not a freak, you're quite a catch!
Do you have hobbies or wish to learn something new? Take a class; join a local political group, etc...you're only limited by your own imagination. Finding someone with similar interests or beliefs is a great way to start a friendship/relationship. Ever try online dating sites?
The funny thing is that your friends who are married with children are probably envious of you! After all, you have far more spending money and leisure time!
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