The case for settling for Mr Good Enough

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
The case for settling for Mr Good Enough
19
Thu, 02-14-2008 - 9:55am
Article: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/single-marry


Edited 2/14/2008 7:25 pm ET by hillaryh8er

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Thu, 02-14-2008 - 2:17pm

Although hard to read, this was a good article.


Yes, it's true. If you want a family, you must have the ideal in mind to find a husband while still young enough. This should be mandatory education for all women, so they have enough choices.


I am not ready to settle, yet, though.

Soliel
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
Thu, 02-14-2008 - 2:29pm
She has a point, but this woman sounds veryyyyyyyyyy bitter and negative....And, this article sounds more as a justification for having her son as a single mom rather than just being single....Any thoughts?

SasHaYa <3Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Thu, 02-14-2008 - 3:15pm

If you are referring to Iv2breathe as 'bitter", then I don't know where you are coming from.


I read her post over 10 times and I don't see any bitterness.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
Thu, 02-14-2008 - 3:22pm

No, I meant the woman who wrote an article...I thought it was kinda obvious ;-)

SasHaYa <3Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2007
Thu, 02-14-2008 - 11:23pm

I actually saw this lady on the Today show, Tuesday. She would not really talk about her love life or why she didn't marry her son's dad. Just said it didn't work out. She was trying to say that we shouldn't be looking for perfection and settle for a good guy. In some ways I agree, and some ways I disagree.

Chelle-

Amour-Propre

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 1:52pm
Hm...Too bad I missed the show...Overall, she sounded just very negative in her whole article. I think it's misleading and definetely can have a negative influence on some women. How was she in rea life?

SasHaYa <3Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 4:08pm

I read the article. I didn't take away quite the negative take you did. In reading it she isn't saying grab some slob you cant stand and "settle" for him. She is just saying waiting for perfection isn't the path to a happy life.


She also seemed to be uncomfortable breaking the feminist mold. (She seemed to describe herself as a feminist, so that is an observation in context.) Maybe in the case of the extended verbiage on "admitting" she might like to be in a relationship she was talking as much to herself as to anyone that article was directed to.


Me, I tend to agree with her, these "standards" are kind of over rated. Picture those standards if you were talking about a job instead of a man. You decide you wont "settle" for a less than a

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 11:13pm

"I think if you can look past imperfection, sometimes on a second look you find something that in a few years would not be thought of as having been settled for at all. She was right about one thing, passion does turn to discussion about diapers and check books. That is when character matters quite a bit more. Life long relationships are built, they don't come in a package. Imperfection is just the thing that makes someone perfect sometimes. (-: "


Me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2007
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 4:03pm

From the 15 seconds she was on T.V., this was my take.


Physically-Very plaine Jane, no makeup, hair long and outdated,drab clothing. Refused to give her age, probaly 55.


She talked very articulate and sounded educated. I just disagreed with what she had to say. She was saying stuff like, women shouldn't wait around for the magic spark, chemistry etc, etc. They had another lady that gave the opposite view.

Chelle-

Amour-Propre

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 9:14pm
My only standards are that I'm attracted to the guy and he's genuinely nice. And preferably smart. That's just about it. :) To date, anyway...I think incompatibility becomes apparent relatively early in dating, if you want to see it, of course.

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