I personally prescribe to this belief: "Save your time and do yourself a favor instead of waiting for the guy to call you, why not try to make use of your time improving yourself."
However, I always wonder about women who have done their work and feel as if they are the very best they can be . . . I mean, most women will not admit this, saying that one can always improve on oneself, but I still wonder.
Well, it is a mystery as to why, when you think the date went great, that he never calls again. I have no insight on that. However, as to the famous "I'll call you".....I just don't take it seriously. I consider it a standard guy comment. He may or may not call. It doesn't mean anything. (I know, I know, why say it if it doesn't mean anything). But I read once that many times a guy will say he'll call because he doesn't know what else to say, especially if he didn't have all that good of a time. What guy wants to say, "I really didn't enjoy you very much, and I don't want to pursue any further dates with you."?
I've encountered a LOT of flakiness in my dating misadventures...guys that seem into me for a few weeks, then disappear....then come back a week later with some lame excuse, then stick around for another few weeks, then disappear for two and so on. I used to put up with it, but no more. If you're into me, call me, see me, make an effort. If not, I'm just not going to put myself through the emotional roller coaster for someone who's not that into me.
I think about it this way: if it were flopped, if I were into a guy, he'd know it. If not, I probably wouldn't do the flaky thing because I think that just leads people on, but I definitely wouldn't be into it and it's usually NOT a personal attack at all! There's often nothing wrong with the guy, I'm just not feeling it; I'm just not into HIM. He didn't do anything wrong, it's just the way it is.
Trust me, I'm trying to take my own advice. My downfall is often taking things WAY too personal.
having been single for 3 years, id just like to know when everything finally comes together? when does the good girl FINALLY get a good guy? guys are dumb. i dont get why most guys think that just because we had fun on one date with them we want to jump in to a relationship! could it be we are not all crazy women and maybe we just like hanging out with them and want to get to know them...i just dont get guys at all. i never expect anything from guys anymore. i tell them that i dont expect anything from them except i do feel that they should have enough respect to not play games, i can take it just tell me straight up! yet none of them feel like they need to do that...i dont get it, i dont think i ever will. all these guys say that we let the "good" guys go that we go after all the ass holes and jerks but why is it that the assholes out number the good guys!? i know their mamas raised them better than that. i will just never get it, ive pretty much given up on guys, i dont need them i am too busy with my life theres not much room for one anyway. everyonce in a while tho it would be nice to have someone. someone to be there through the tought times and the happy times. im sure some day well all get that guy we deserve but damn isnt it a long wait in the mean time?!?!?!?!
I've been single for four years and personally, I've grown to accept and even like it, but I do hear where you're coming from. However, I also dated a guy with whom I had a complicated year-long pseudo-dating thing...I still believe (a year later) that he is a nice guy, but just wasn't that into me, by no fault of my own (or his). He ended up in a relationship with a woman who is NOTHING like me, hence that conclusion. Anyway, he'd been single for seven years and was certainly nicer (and cuter) than most of the guys I've dated who seem to have girlfriends every five minutes. It seems to me that there are guys out there who have the same problems as us, just less of them.
Aside from getting out, doing your own thing, and meeting people in general, I don't think it's anything we can control and just have to be patient, as much as that can suck sometimes. But as usual, these are just my ramblings/two cents. :)
these BOYS need to realize they are not the center of our universe!! they may be to some girls but usually those girls arent girls they could see them selves with forever. and then when we do have our own lives and hardly have any time for them THATS when they want us, but if we have free time for them then they dont want us. i have seriously run out of places to meet guys, ive tried it all and they have all proved themselves to be like every other guy. oh yea let me add in the 3 years i have been single i have probably been on 2 dates. im only 21 but compared to a lot of 21 year olds i have my stuff together, good job, full time student, healthy friendships, good family life, and im getting ready to move out on my own. i dont understand why these guys dont even think im worthy of ONE date!! one of my best friends always says its because they are intimidated by us but damn can some of them grow some balls?! ive realized that no 21 year old guy is going to want what i want but i havent even found a 25 or 26 year old guy whos anymore more mature than them. and guys wonder why we complain about them lol THEY GIVE US REASONS TO! i was talking to this guy who was 29 my thinking was you know hes older he might actually be better than these little boys, no he wanted to jump in to a relationship, he was ready to settle down get married etc, and he just couldnt understand why i wasnt ready for that. after i told him, he acted completely immature and now when i see him at this bar we both go to sometimes he wont even say hi and he sits there and talks crap about me with his friends! really what is that all about lol hes 30!! what 30 year old has time for that? we may never understand guys but they do make for some good laughs every so often.
Oh wow! whew! thanks a lot for the comments.. I've read some nice books about dating and also purchased a book "He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Berendth and I've learned a lot of things about dating. There are lot of factors why a guy seems "not into you"...according to the letter-senders came from real women out there who have been into dating and was dumped by men:
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To me, that's always been one of lifes unsolved mysteries.
I personally prescribe to this belief: "Save your time and do yourself a favor instead of waiting for the guy to call you, why not try to make use of your time improving yourself."
However, I always wonder about women who have done their work and feel as if they are the very best they can be . . . I mean, most women will not admit this, saying that one can always improve on oneself, but I still wonder.
I've encountered a LOT of flakiness in my dating misadventures...guys that seem into me for a few weeks, then disappear....then come back a week later with some lame excuse, then stick around for another few weeks, then disappear for two and so on. I used to put up with it, but no more. If you're into me, call me, see me, make an effort. If not, I'm just not going to put myself through the emotional roller coaster for someone who's not that into me.
I think about it this way: if it were flopped, if I were into a guy, he'd know it. If not, I probably wouldn't do the flaky thing because I think that just leads people on, but I definitely wouldn't be into it and it's usually NOT a personal attack at all! There's often nothing wrong with the guy, I'm just not feeling it; I'm just not into HIM. He didn't do anything wrong, it's just the way it is.
Trust me, I'm trying to take my own advice. My downfall is often taking things WAY too personal.
having been single for 3 years, id just like to know when everything finally comes together? when does the good girl FINALLY get a good guy? guys are dumb. i dont get why most guys think that just because we had fun on one date with them we want to jump in to a relationship! could it be we are not all crazy women and maybe we just like hanging out with them and want to get to know them...i just dont get guys at all. i never expect anything from guys anymore. i tell them that i dont expect anything from them except i do feel that they should have enough respect to not play games, i can take it just tell me straight up! yet none of them feel like they need to do that...i dont get it, i dont think i ever will. all these guys say that we let the "good" guys go that we go after all the ass holes and jerks but why is it that the assholes out number the good guys!? i know their mamas raised them better than that. i will just never get it, ive pretty much given up on guys, i dont need them i am too busy with my life theres not much room for one anyway. everyonce in a while tho it would be nice to have someone. someone to be there through the tought times and the happy times. im sure some day well all get that guy we deserve but damn isnt it a long wait in the mean time?!?!?!?!
Honey, I couldn't agree w/you more & could have written your post word for word.
I've been single for four years and personally, I've grown to accept and even like it, but I do hear where you're coming from. However, I also dated a guy with whom I had a complicated year-long pseudo-dating thing...I still believe (a year later) that he is a nice guy, but just wasn't that into me, by no fault of my own (or his). He ended up in a relationship with a woman who is NOTHING like me, hence that conclusion. Anyway, he'd been single for seven years and was certainly nicer (and cuter) than most of the guys I've dated who seem to have girlfriends every five minutes. It seems to me that there are guys out there who have the same problems as us, just less of them.
Aside from getting out, doing your own thing, and meeting people in general, I don't think it's anything we can control and just have to be patient, as much as that can suck sometimes. But as usual, these are just my ramblings/two cents. :)
Oh wow! whew! thanks a lot for the comments.. I've read some nice books about dating and also purchased a book "He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Berendth and I've learned a lot of things about dating. There are lot of factors why a guy seems "not into you"...according to the letter-senders came from real women out there who have been into dating and was dumped by men:
Pages