I'm a new single girl here :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2008
I'm a new single girl here :)
5
Sun, 02-24-2008 - 8:32pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2007
Sun, 02-24-2008 - 11:09pm

Hey Tristan, congrats on becoming single! I know you're not too thrilled yet, but thats why I'm posting, to convince you being single is great, but first I'll admit breakups are hard in the beginning...you have to remember how to live your life without another person beside you all the time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 7:57pm

Hi!

I've been single for a year and a half now (I'm 23) and when I was 22, I was sort of in your boat. Although initially, it was really hard and I was lonely, it is very empowering! You have the freedom to do whatever you want, move to where-ever you want and take up new hobbies. After my break-up with my first serious boyfriend I started going to yoga classes and I've been doing it ever since. I'm graduating in May and moving from the east coast to the west coast to work and I might not have done that if I was dating someone.

Looking back, I knew deep down that a lot of my relationships would not work but I was scared to be alone. Although I admit occasionally I miss having a boyfriend (i.e. during holidays) most of the time I'm more relaxed and stress free than I was when I was with someone. No more worrying about where the relationship is going, about what he's thinking, about whether there is a future etc.

I also know now not to just "settle" for a guy because I don't want to be single. I've seen my friends cling onto doomed relationships because they were too scared to be alone.

I haven't really dated a lot mostly because I've been so busy with school and trying to start my career. Maybe in a few months when I am settled in!

I welcome you into single-hood!

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 8:11pm

I understand knowing a relationship won't work, yet still hanging on for the friendship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 8:22pm

Hi Cl-shywon,

Just curious if you actually met any nice guys while going out. I have friends who have meet their boyfriends (who are very sweet) at a bar. But all the guys I've meet are a little sketchy and I have questioned their true intentions. I even avoid the "one night stand/ pick up bars".

I don't know if I agree with the "meeting someone when you lease expect it" either. I think you have to create chances (parties, meet people through friends etc). But at the same time not to put too much pressure on yourself either and to have fun doing it!

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 9:50pm

I've met guys who seemed nice, but there was never any follow through to find out.