I think we all feel that way sometimes. But at the end of the day, I would rather be alone than with someone I don't belong with or be with someone just because I don't want to be alone.
But I do empathize with you. I find it hard especially during holidays and ALL my friends are in a relationship except one. We had a Christmas Ball that was organized by the faculty and I felt like an idiot because I was the only one not bringing a date. So I ended up not going, not because I felt ashamed of being single but because I would feel like a tool sitting with a table full of couples. I would have felt better even if there was one other dateless person there. I know that sounds a little stupid but that's the way I felt.
I'm thinking of dating again just to "check things out" after I move to a new city in June to start working. But it's almost like I haven't done the dating thing in so long I have no idea where to start or what to do?
Anyway... just sharing my thoughts! Feel free to respond.
Last week with having to work on-call working nights, and then my mother landing in the hospital due to five bleeding ulcers, and staying over at the house during the days, taking care of the animals, then running back to my apt in time to pick up oncall at 6pm to work another 12 hour shift......I was ran ragged and had moments where I wish I had a bf.
I'm sure it's just a short temporary phase. I get like that every now and then and I know there are lots of married people out there who feel that way and in my book that's a lot worse, being tied to someone who makes you feel lonely every waking moment-- and the only way of getting out of the situation if counseling doesn't work is by spending thousands and thousands of dollars on a nasty divorce.
What I've found more and more is that there are indeed lots of other single women (unfortunately I have little luck finding the single men!) around who just want to find good friends. When I first moved into my building a few years ago I had no friends here, but over time I started to get to know more people and now I have a very good single friend around my age who likes to get together for dinner or a cup of coffee after work. the funny thing is, I discovered that I preferred her company to hanging out with this guy I dated for two months but who I wasn't very attracted to and didn't have much in common with. Yeah, he was a guy and filled in my need to have someone to spend Friday and Saturday nights with, but that was about it. In the end I didn't feel necessarily lonely, I just felt stupid wrapped up in that relationship.
I've come to a point where I've decided that even if I'm destined to be single I'm always going to do my best to live a fulfilling life surrounded by good people. If I don't have anyone to take trips with, I will join a travel group and go to amazing places. If I end up in an assisted living facility when I'm 90 and I have my faculties I will be the most social woman in the complex organizing day trips and other fun things to do.
Like you, I've contemplated putting up an online profile, AGAIN, but I just don't want to go that route. I've come to the conclusion that life is too short to spend every other free night with someone you're probably not going to hit it off with or end up getting hurt in some way by. At least, that's what's always happened with me and the web and I'm tired of repeating the cycle. Same thing with blind dates. Lots of wasted time, and I'm tired of chalking them up to being LEARNING EXPERIENCES. I've learned enough, thank you.
Me too.
I think we all feel that way sometimes. But at the end of the day, I would rather be alone than with someone I don't belong with or be with someone just because I don't want to be alone.
But I do empathize with you. I find it hard especially during holidays and ALL my friends are in a relationship except one. We had a Christmas Ball that was organized by the faculty and I felt like an idiot because I was the only one not bringing a date. So I ended up not going, not because I felt ashamed of being single but because I would feel like a tool sitting with a table full of couples. I would have felt better even if there was one other dateless person there. I know that sounds a little stupid but that's the way I felt.
I'm thinking of dating again just to "check things out" after I move to a new city in June to start working. But it's almost like I haven't done the dating thing in so long I have no idea where to start or what to do?
Anyway... just sharing my thoughts! Feel free to respond.
Hi!
Last week with having to work on-call working nights, and then my mother landing in the hospital due to five bleeding ulcers, and staying over at the house during the days, taking care of the animals, then running back to my apt in time to pick up oncall at 6pm to work another 12 hour shift......I was ran ragged and had moments where I wish I had a bf.
I'm sure it's just a short temporary phase. I get like that every now and then and I know there are lots of married people out there who feel that way and in my book that's a lot worse, being tied to someone who makes you feel lonely every waking moment-- and the only way of getting out of the situation if counseling doesn't work is by spending thousands and thousands of dollars on a nasty divorce.
What I've found more and more is that there are indeed lots of other single women (unfortunately I have little luck finding the single men!) around who just want to find good friends. When I first moved into my building a few years ago I had no friends here, but over time I started to get to know more people and now I have a very good single friend around my age who likes to get together for dinner or a cup of coffee after work. the funny thing is, I discovered that I preferred her company to hanging out with this guy I dated for two months but who I wasn't very attracted to and didn't have much in common with. Yeah, he was a guy and filled in my need to have someone to spend Friday and Saturday nights with, but that was about it. In the end I didn't feel necessarily lonely, I just felt stupid wrapped up in that relationship.
I've come to a point where I've decided that even if I'm destined to be single I'm always going to do my best to live a fulfilling life surrounded by good people. If I don't have anyone to take trips with, I will join a travel group and go to amazing places. If I end up in an assisted living facility when I'm 90 and I have my faculties I will be the most social woman in the complex organizing day trips and other fun things to do.
Like you, I've contemplated putting up an online profile, AGAIN, but I just don't want to go that route. I've come to the conclusion that life is too short to spend every other free night with someone you're probably not going to hit it off with or end up getting hurt in some way by. At least, that's what's always happened with me and the web and I'm tired of repeating the cycle. Same thing with blind dates. Lots of wasted time, and I'm tired of chalking them up to being LEARNING EXPERIENCES. I've learned enough, thank you.
Ooooh yes, I know that feeling of wanting to put up the old profile back on those god awful online dating sites.
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Hi Wishful,
I would also be grateful simply for companionship at this point.
Hey, Just wanted to offer some support - those Saturday nights at home can be tough when your mind starts racing!
My best friend just emailed me a vent about her online dating experience- guys who only want perfect looking women, who don't follow through, etc.