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| Fri, 01-28-2005 - 7:47pm |
on proceedings - I had a long discussion w/ atty today - about the RO & whether or not our dd should be in it - she wont be. & i am happy with that decision at this point. It takes a lot of the stress i was having about that, off of me.
As i said, I feel like taking her out of his life, even for that 21 days of the emergency order, would throw him even more over the edge & would be hard on dd not seeing him. I truly feel it would VERY much escalate the situation. The atty said that w/ his threats & the incidents in the past towards me, there i no way i wouldnt get a RO for me. Apparently RI is one of the strictest states when it comes to DV issues. But, he said that given the fact that M has proven himself a responsible loving father - EXCEPT for (& yes, its a BIG except) the issues that surround me, there is no way they would want him seperated from him. BUT, based on the highly innapropriate things he has said to her in regards to me, the atty will ask for, & feels it will be granted, a clause in the temporary orders, that IF he says anything innaproriate like he has been doing, then he will be held in contempt.
So, thats where we are right now. I feel like the situation will be less volitale w/o the order including her. I told the atty i was concerned that he has threatened once to take her if i ever leave him, & the atty said that is a very common threat. NOT to discount it, but to keep in mind it is a deseperate threat to keep me under his thumb if possible -knowing she is my weak point. It will make things MUCH less stressful worrying about him trying to see her at school & the police needing to be called if there were an order, etc. I ws picturing all kinds of horrible incidents - hence my not sleeping well! As you know, i never wanted to include her in it from the beginning, but i felt that in order to protect her emotionally from his verbal onslaught about me to her, i had to. Now the decision is out of my hands. I beleive in fate & that things go the way they should go ... I hope.
I will meet w/ atty the end of Feb to iron out the details. Oh, the other thing is his being served. He said he uses a constable. So we can have some control over where & how he is served. I dont want him served at work if possible, for his sake. So this way i will leave town w/ Averey on the pretense of a visit to my family & he will get served later that day at home - or the next day. I cant imagine my STOMACH that day ... but its got to be done. The atty reminded me again that based on his threats of serious physical harm AND his instability, its not a choice. The plan is to go to court March 21 or about then. Ugh. & then once he is stable, i will return w/ Averey & he will be able to see her. This is about me & him ... i want to keep it that way ... as long as HE keeps it that way.
Thanks, R~


Wow... things have been busy!
Keep us updated with how things go when he's served.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~