How to divorce a military man?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2005
How to divorce a military man?
2
Mon, 01-31-2005 - 11:09am

I've been seperated for about three years (not legally, we just don't live together) and I cannot get my miserable, sniveling military ex to cooperate! I don't have the money for a lawyer to force him into it, and I don't even know where he is. He is refusing to give me an address, telephone number, or even unit (we separated shortly before he was stationed in Japan). While that mutt sits there collecting the money the military gives him to support ME, since we're still legally married, I'm stuck over here with no way to force the divorce. I've met a wonderful man and we want to marry but obviously I can't do that while I'm still legally attached to that ignorant dufus, and it's driving me crazy! Can someone help me figure out what to do to force this thing through? Or even just fix it so the support money they give him (which, I have actual legal proof, he's been using to pay off his own debt, AND to support a daughter he's had since we separated)comes directly to me? Someone told me that it was possible to do that, and I can't think of a better way to push him into cooperating with the paperwork. I don't even want anything from him, not even the back pay for the last three years, I just want to be legally UNtied to the likes of that coward so I can marry the man I was truly meant to be with. Any help?

--Nina
P.S. Sorry this was so long and ranting, I'm just totally ticked because I feel stuck with no way out!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 01-31-2005 - 11:57am
wow. what a mess! i understand that he won't tell YOU where he is - but surely the US MILITARY KNOWS??? have you tired contacting their family services (or whatever its called)? I hate to say this, and i understand you can't afford to pay for a lawye r- but at this point i think you can't afford NOT TO.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 01-31-2005 - 2:41pm

Goddess-if I am not mistaken, because you are a military spouse, you have every right to utilize all military services, and this means the JAG office as well...Do you live close to a military base? If not look in your phone book and look up the number for the branch of service your husband is in. I don't believe it will cost you anything, if nothing else you will be able to file for abandonment (something the military does not look kindly on) because he is using your support money for himself.

You won't have to "find" your husband...the military will. They are all linked by computer and will find him that way...his CO won't be happy either. This will not look good on his record and could cost him his job, or at least a reduction in rank and forfeiture of pay. Wouldn't that be a kick in the pants to him? Maybe he will wake up then and take responsibilty for his actions.

Best of luck to you and congratulations on this new man!!! Keep us posted!

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