husband changed his mind...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
husband changed his mind...
6
Mon, 01-31-2005 - 5:41pm

Get this ladies!!! I went to the police station last night to do our week-end child exchange. When my STBX showed up, he actually walked her into the station and looked at me. He acted like he wanted to say something but I turned my head and gave ALL my attention to our dd. I could still see him out of the corner of my eye and I could swear I saw tears come to his eyes. Oh God, I almost melted...but I didn't! He patted our dd on her head and said "see ya".

When dd and I got into the car to go home, she says "mommy, did daddy talk to you"? I told her no and she said "well, daddy doesn't want the divorce anymore. He wants to come home". In my head I was screaming, "are you kidding me? After all he's done to us, and he thinks I would ever take him back?" NO WAY IN H#*%! I didn't start this feud, he did. I will in no way take the responsibility for the lying, cheating, disrespectful, inconsiderate, abusive behaviour he has shown this family throughout the marriage and I won't do it again...EVER!!!

I guess he is really feeling bad for the way things have turned out...TOO BAD! I'm guessing he was served with the contempt of court papers and realizes that he could be in for some major jail time if he can't prove good cause. He figures that since I've always been a push over for him, I always will be! HA HA! The joke is on him...I'm just sorry that once again my dd had to be the messenger. Do you think this man will ever just "GROW-UP"? He is 48 years old, for crying out loud!!!

Maybe he's starting to realize that I'm not that stupid, fat, weak woman he thought he'd married. Maybe he realizes now that I AM NOT GOING TO BACK DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When he hurt us (more so, when he hurt our dd) he put me into the fight mode and I will do whatever it takes to make sure our dd isn't hurt again! Ladies, HE HAS MET HIS MATCH! The only difference is, I fight fair while he remains in contempt.

What's that saying? What goes around, comes around!!! LOL

Or maybe he took a good look and noticed I've lost alot of weight since he left...not from him leaving, but from me working out at Bally's...52 lbs. in 5 months!!! Won't be long and I'll be back into my size 10 levi's again!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 10:59am

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 12:57pm
It's not just 50 pounds you have dropped. You've shed a whole man! LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 02-02-2005 - 11:37am

SHAME on him for even discussing that with DD... putting her in the middle.... now, she knows that daddy's sad and wants to come home... and that's not even close to the REAL issue... which is that HE'S placed YOU right smack dab in the middle of DD thinking that it's YOUR straw that will let her daddy come back home.


I'd be quick to tell her that mommy and daddy are both sad right now that things didn't work out like you'd both hoped they would.... and that you ARE working together to figure out what's best for everybody.... and you just can't say right now what that will be... except that you both love her and will be there for her, maybe not at the same time, but it probably wasn't like that when you were married all of the time anyway.


Hang in there!... and congratulations on the new YOU!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 02-02-2005 - 4:15pm

Thank you for your post! You have mirrored my thoughts exactly...I don't want my daughter to hurt anymore. She doesn't deserve any of this, and yet daddy keeps putting her through this and trying to make me feel guilty because I won't fall for anymore of his mind games!!!! How, as he says, does this show love for her? I LOVE ALL OF MY CHILDREN!!! Unconditionally, no matter what!!! I believe that my NOT getting back together with him is "in the best interest of the child". If he can't accept this, then TOO DAMN BAD! He doesn't deserve a trusting soul like my daughter!!!

You are so right when you say it probably wasn't at the same time!! I can't think of a time when he was ever there for her (or any of his other children)! He has always been out to take care of #1, which he is, and always will be, #1!!! I have always compared our marriage like a totem pole...#1) hubby, #2)18 YO dd from a previous marriage, (I wondered if she was actually part owner of this house, although her name is not on the title), #3) other dd from yet another previous marriage, age 23, ( daughter of ex-wife #1), #4)16 yo son, from a previous marriage, #4) our dd, #5)my dd from a previous marriage, and finally the dirt that this totem pole sits on #6) me! Why, oh why, did I ever put up with this? Was I really that stupid? Or was I just that "in Love" with him? Either way, it spells B-L-I-N-D!!!!

I've even got more BAD news today but will post it later as I have to get my DD from school! Thanks again!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 02-02-2005 - 4:30pm

I'm with ya.... I'm a MUCH better parent to my children NOT married to their dad... and I think that he's a better parent, now, too.... but while we were divorcing *I* was the worst housebreaker that ever was... according to my EX.


More bad news?????....... Oh no!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 02-02-2005 - 8:25pm

I am SO proud of you! Stay strong. & HUGE hugs to your dd. There is NO excuse for that ... & i bet my STBX will be trying the same as well :(

& about the weight - i have gianed 60# since i got married 6 years ago ,... i sure hope i am saying what YOU are about the weight down teh road! GOOD FOR YOU! R~

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