Getting divorced, need advise

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2004
Getting divorced, need advise
4
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 1:16pm

Hi everyone,
I recently filed for a divorce. I am in my 30s, have two kids. I work full time and make a good living. STBX had a good job but had not worked in 2 years. He did not look for a job hard enough, was lazy. He had money from his stocks, a considerable amount that he told me about two years ago.

He verbally indicated to me that he does not want to live in the same city, wants to move and get a job somewhere else. He was not very keen on getting custody and doing all the work. He might change that later if wants to I suppose.

He left town to stay with his family and told his lawyer he will get a job there.
He told our mutual friend he wats 75% of all our assetts. We had separate bank accounts for the last few years and shared expenses. He wats 75% of my retirement fund, house equity, my savings etc. He says he has only a little bit left of his stock account and needs it for the lawyer fees. He claims he has no other money. I think he siphoned off some of his stock money.

It seems unfair that his lazy a$$ should get money I worked for while he sat around the house not doing any work, not taking care of the kids and being a jerk.

We have not started the legal issues yet on that, he just moved out two weeks ago and I am getting my head cleared and getting the kids routine organized.
Any advise on how I can safeguard my financial interests? Lawyer is saying that him not having a job etc. means I will have to fork over atleast half my retirement fund etc. to him.

In the meantime, I bought some furniture that I had wanted for a long time and put some of my savings in the childrens college fund.

Any advise will be appreciated.
Thanks
tsvs2004

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2001
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 5:03pm

Find a lawyer as soon as

~calla~  mom to rosie and gracie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 12:17pm

Don't just "find a lawyer".... but find ANOTHER lawyer!!!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 11:07pm

1. Keep your head and wits about you.
2. Do not believe "Everything you hear"
3. Call your local bar association, they will offer you a reduced cost consultation with a local lawyer...take the consultation......
4. you find yourself in a common situation for men...while they are often the primary wage earner..when it comes time for division of assets...the housewife, non wage earner, takes the largest portion of them...because the courts often feel they need protection, and security for thier future..no matter WHAT the previous circumstances were!!!!
5. If he has been an equal partner on paper, Co-name on house deed, Co-name on car titles, Co-name on stocks..you will not be able to restrict his actions until you formally file for Divorce,,Seperation only means not living together..you will still have to deal with his co-ownership of everything...

Good luck..but above all else..keep your head..do not start thinking irrationally..It can only hurt your position at the end of this long, painfull process....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 7:14am
to echo another post honey you need a new lawyer! youre probably feeling drained but you need to fight this for the sake of your kids! i dont know the laws in your area of course, but where i live this guy would be unlikely to get anything except (probably) half of your earnings together. and if he drained the stocks, that would figure in perhaps. when i divorced i couldnt afford a lwayer, and so got nothing. no share of the house, no savings, no insurance, no stocks, no support, etc (despite his insistance that i not work!). my point is a good lawyer can block him from anything, since i couldnt even get what i was legally entitled to. and the fact that he chose not to work may play into it. good luck to you please look for another lawyer.