about to separate and scared
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| Tue, 02-08-2005 - 3:34pm |
I'm new here. And very confused, angry, sad and 100 other emotions.
My husband of 12 years recently turned 40 and it seems that he is having the cliche "mid life crisis".
He is saying that he needs to find himself. That he feels trapped and unhappy with his life and that he needs to search for a way to be happy.
He wants to separate, and at this time he says it's a trial separation. He wants to get a place in the city but still come here (the burbs) to see the kids.
I'm hurt and confused and finding it very hard to suddenly be left out of his life. He has become very private.
I don't even know why I'm posting this - I guess I just want to know that there are others out there going through the same type of things. I feel so NOT in control of what happens and that is really scary.

My H gave me a similar story about four years ago - I need to find myself, things aren't working, we need to separate for awhile, etc.
hugs! i am sorry you had to find us under these circumstances, but i do hope you will find comfort and support and advice here - as we all have.
I guess that the first thing that jumped to my mind was also - is he having an affair? the bottom line is that you can't force him to stay with you if he doesn't want to. and its hard to deal with that lost off control that you are feeling right now.
you may not believe me - but it will be ok, you will get thru this. of course its hard - this is your partner, the father of your children, and this whole thing has just hit you out of the blue. take the time that you need to heal.
has he EVER raised ANY issues before - even things that seemed trivial at the time? have you ever tried marital counseling?