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| Thu, 02-10-2005 - 5:49pm |
Help. I'm afraid I am going to do something horrible and I will regret, but feel a need to do it. Here goes:
My husband of 18 years is wanting a divorce because he feels our sex drives are so different we cannot ever achieve a happy medium. I felt this was a problem we were working on. I was devastated when he told me he felt he had lost that special feeling he had always had for me and wanted a divorce.
My intuition told me there was more to it than that. Sure enough, I just found today an email account he set up for himself, much by accident. I feel sure he is having, has had or is contemplating a relationship with someone else. I was so angry and hurt I tried unsucessfully to get into his account. I cannot. I then looked up a company that offers a program that I could load onto his computer to get his passwords, messaging, etc. Should I do this? I feel it is not right, but I also feel this overwhelming urge to know what he is doing. If he has had an affair, I feel I need to take care of our children and finances. But maybe that is just trying to justify my actions. Please help. If he ever found out he would be so angry and hurt and I would be horrified.
Thank you

i agree that you need to take care of finances and protect yourself and your children - regardless of whether or not he had, or is having, an affair. the question is - what will you gain out of having this proof? not much, IMHO.
i would say - don't waste your time and energy trying to find out if he is having an affair. focus intead on making copies of financial papers etc.