I hope the courts will be on my side...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2004
I hope the courts will be on my side...
2
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 1:41pm

Hi all - I'm new to this board, I'm a regular on the DV board. A little history.....married for 12 yrs to a verbally, emotionally and financially abusive man, who is also a drug addict. During 10 of those years I supported him completely (rent, food, bills, clothes, insurance, etc) while he spent all his $$ on drugs and alcohol and whatever he wanted or needed at the time. Occasionally he would donate $100 or so for bills, only to beg for it (or steal it) back within 24 hours so he could satisfy his drug cravings. His health has rapidly declined over the last 8 yrs or so due to his drug/alcohol abuse, and he milked my insurance for all the benefits available so there wasn't anything left for me when I needed it. He didn't follow doctors' orders and continued to get injured at home and at work. He never offered a dime towards the insurance premiums in that 8 years. I left him a year and 1/2 ago. Since then he has continually tried to contact me and has boasted to all his friends about "winning me back", and that he REFUSES to give me a divorce. He has stated that he will try to delay the divorce proceedings for another year (legally impossible) and he has repeatedly threatened to sue me for health insurance, because after I left him I took him off my policy - couldn't afford it anymore. I filed for divorce 3 months ago and he contested as I expected, but also filed a counter-claim against me for desertion - and is asking the court to make me pay for his health insurance. He was working full-time when I left, and has been ever since - we make about the same amount of $$. I have talked to an attorney and she said the court will probably NOT grant him insurance, and she said that after 2 yrs separation, the divorce will be granted "no questions asked".

My problem is that I am still so worried that the court will grant him the insurance. Has anyone had to deal with this kind of thing before?? I need some reassurance from someone who's already been there. Thanks for any input !!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 4:07pm

Well, your attorney probably has the best feel for what the judges in your area will likely award, but I'd say that if he's "employable" when he's off the drugs.... you shouldn't be help responsible for supporting him in any way.


I'm glad you stopped by our board.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2004
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 2:15pm

Thanks !! I know it's highly unlikely the court will grant the insurance, I guess I just needed a little outside encouragement. My company offered him COBRA coverage a year ago and he didn't take it (even tho he claimed to have the $$ to pay the premiums), and he could've gone to another insurance company to get coverage on his own - he's using the insurance as a way to stay attached to me - to make me pay for leaving him. He admits to spending $200 per month on pain medication, but he won't get his own insurance and insists on trying to get it out of ME - it just doesn't make sense. I have to keep stepping back to see it for what it is.

Thanks for your input :)