For those with finalized divorces...
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For those with finalized divorces...
| Sun, 02-20-2005 - 10:55am |
My divorce will be finalized Wednesday. I filed in Dec of 2003 but my stbxh transferred military units and got deployed pushing our finalizing out 14 months. It has been an emotional rollercoaster even though I have been seeing someone for a year and couldn't be happier. I feel as though I have made great strides in healing and getting over


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My separation was long, drawn out and full of battles (wars). I thought when it finally was finalized, I'd be ecstatic. Well, the day came (april 30,2002) and I was surprised. It was very bittersweet. I wasn't overly happy. I wasn't overly sad. I was there. Kind of stunned that all the fighting was finally legally over. Stunned that after 8 years being married to this "man", words by the judge would erase that.
Dont go into the day expecting to feel one way or another. DO somethign for YOU on this day and if your sad-go with it. It does get better and now, I thank God I'm divorced!
Good luck!
I think it does on some levels. Mine was final 1/18/05. For me the court appearance was hard... but after that I spent the day quiet with my thoughts. After that, we don't have to talk about the divorce anymore and my SO is pretty happy that it is final... so I think in that instance it does definitely get better.
I do think that sometimes I wish I was "married".... it feels weird not to be... I just don't wish it was to "him" anymore.... BIG steps in the right direction ;)
Hugs and Happy Divorce!
Angelena
I think bittersweet summed up mine. It was final in October. I was grateful I had a good friend there with me so I could squeeze her arm. The ex and I were married for five years and it was a roller coaster of ups and downs so on one hand, I was glad that I didn't have to be on the roller coaster, but on the other hand, through this divorce being finailzied, I was acknowledging that things were never going to work out. And that made me sad because I had tried and had hope for so long. I was a basket case the week leading up to the final hearing. I was afraid he was going to try something legally to drag it out or show up at court. He didn't. I was relieved when it was over but it really felt like an out of body experience.
I'll be thinking good thoughts for you this week ...and Happy Birthday!
In my case, my SO had to be in the courtroom with me for a portion of the divorce hearing, simply to state that the baby I just had was his and not my XH's. ( I started dating someone else 6 months after H left and shortly after that I found out I was pregnant ) After that, my attorney asked that my SO leave the courtroom for confidentiality. It was just me, my lawyer, the child attorney, my xH ( he didn't have an attorney ) I am pretty sure they won't allow anyone who isn't directly affected by the case be in the courtroom.....
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.... have your SO's mom wait outside ready for a hug. That's my best advice.
Hugs and good luck!
Angelena
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
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