Did anyone watch Oprah the other day?...
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Did anyone watch Oprah the other day?...
| Sun, 02-20-2005 - 11:41am |
I'm never home during Oprah, but I've had the flu, so I was home watching on Friday. Man, I don't know if it was good or bad that I saw it - it was about depressed husbands who kill their wives. Even though STBX has never ever been violent, there have been times he's made me nervous and I've wondered if he'd snap and do something awful. Does anyone else here ever feel that way? He was upset when I told him I watched that episode and that it made me nervous because he's always said he'd never do anything to hurt the kids or me, but I'm a little jumpy now...
Melanie

I was at a doctor office for an appointment for work. I saw bits and pieces of this show. The wife was stabbed over 50 times. He killed his 2 children. One by strangling with his own 2 hands. He was sentenced to 2 consecutive life terms and 25 years. The woman was SO strong to be able to come on that show and talk about what she went through. If anyone, let alone my ex, took both of my kids lives, I would be locked up for good.
I have had thoughts of this when I was separated. There were a few stories here where the father and mother was separated, father kidnapped the kids and killed them. It haunted me forever (specially since me and my now ex were fighting BAD during the separation). Me and him talked about it and I know in my heart he would never do anything to hurt my kids physically.
The percentage of men who would kill their own kids is very small. Its always better to be cautious, especially if your Husband/stbx has been violent in the past. Protect yourself and the kids.
I definitely felt more comfortable when we were divorcing when my then-STBX lived in the same house with me (while it was for sale).
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Ugh, makes ME jumpy! Especially b/c mine has threatened ... more than once. I dont think he WOULD do it ... but now everything is taken away - me, his dd, his meal ticket, his home, what little pride he had. He has a history of MAJOR Depression, MAJOR rage & alcoholism. Nice combo. & a peice of paper, the RO, isnt giong to save me. But so far, in almost 3 weeks,since the RO was filed & he was removed from the house, he hasnt contacted me - & now that he was served the divorce papers today, I am looking over my shoulder big time. Wont be staying alone for a few days, thats for sure.
I didnt see the show ... & i am sort of glad i didnt. I truly dont think he could EVER harm our dd, they are very close ... but its ME i worry about. This is NO fun.
R~
And now for a man's point of view ...
My ex used to feel and comment about this. She beleived she was psychic and could sense my anger. And then she'd follow me around telling me that I'm angry. And if I said that I was not, I was in DENIAL --proving I was angry. And she would proceed that if I felt angry, the next logical step was that I was going to be violent.
And then she began to associate my actions with her perceived belief that I was angry and violent. For example, if I wore a particular shirt, it proved I was angry. Or if I washed my hands in a particular way, it was proof. Or if I used certain tones in my voice.
I got news for you folks -- even if you are not angry to start, if someone stands before you endlessly acusing you of being angry and violent, it will piss you off.
Adn by the way, she's the one who was violent. I had to move out because she would wait until I was asleep and then she'd would beat me while I was sleeping (fist punches to the face, ribs or gut).
The point? Its not just men! And even worse, when a woman physically abuses a man, the man (a) cannot defend himself or he becomes the cause and perpatrator, and (b) no one believes that a man can be physically abused.
I threw some trash out and saw a newspaper article about a guy who killed his 7 mo pregnant ex-girlfriend. Immediately I was envisioning an article about me, being found murdered in my apartment. Terrible, isn't it? I had to scold myself for that one.
H has never been physically violent with me, but I do think he is depressed, and at this point, who knows what he is capable of.
Ya... and did you see the news clip about the knife weilding woman?...
News - Woman Flushes Boyfriend's Penis Down Toilet
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
>>>And even worse, when a woman physically abuses a man, the man (a) cannot defend himself or he becomes the cause and perpatrator<<<
This is true. I talked to a guy once I met through an online dating service. He was very careful about who he met in person and preferred to talk for *months* before meeting. He met a girl once and after a few dates it became clear she was not mentally stable. She showed up at his house and he called the police to have her removed from the property. The 911 operator said to block her from coming any closer to the house (she was in the yard) and he said no, he needed police assistance because the minute he touched her she could claim assault, and the 911 operator agreed he was right and should wait for an officer.
Actually I agree and disagree. Yes, men are often demonized in the media, but I am not letting Oprah make up my mind about my stbx. The truth is that he is a very depressed, anti-social person, who just went off his meds and is irratic. He's never been violent, but neither were the men in these true stories. Watching it made me see that it is possible, although remote for a non violent, but somewhat "off" person to do something like this. Honestly, after I made the decision to divorce him, one day we were discussing something and I started to shake because he was making me so nervous. He then laughed at me because he thought I was being ridiculious to think that he'd ever do anything to harm me. He's been so weird and said such weird things that although I don't believe it *would* ever happen I see that it most definately *could*. Even his therapist asked me if I was feeling uneasy about still living with him.
Melanie
I have thought about this. My STBX is a very angry person. He has never physically hurt me, but there has been plenty of verbal and emotional abuse. After an argument we had he removed all his guns from the house. Took them to his friends. He was afraid I would call the police and he would lose them. Anyway I am glad he took them out of the house.
I am still living with him while we try to sell the house, and sometimes I find myself giving into what he wants because I am afraid I will piss him off. It is hard to find a balance.