Seeing younger guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
Seeing younger guy
5
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 9:11am

Has anyone out there dated a younger guy? My divorce will be final in a month. I was not looking for anybody but I met this guy and he is 22 yrs. old. I am 34. This 12 year age difference just bothers me. I love spending thim with this guy. The age factor does not bother him at all. He feels people can create their own ideas about it and the utimately it is our decision. I do have 3 chilren. But also know that I will never introduce them to somebody unless I know it is serious.

I just know I have serious doubts about the age factor. I really like this guy and we have a great time together. I just don't know what to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2003
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 10:19am

Good Morning!

Thank you for posting.

A younger man...... hmmmmmm.

My x husband left me for a then 19 year old girl. He was 28 at the time. We have 2 children and I was pregnant with number 2 when he left. Our children are now 6 and 1.

I can tell you that in my own experiences from the outside I can see a difference between the age of her and my XH's age. He is in a different spot in his life, with children that makes it a lot harder. She wasn't ready for kids to be in her life so she made it nearly impossible for my XH to see them. Although my X takes her "bologna", I can see his struggle with it and it's affect on my kids. She is completely different from him in many ways, mostly her maturity level. They have been together for just over a year.

I personally don't date people who are younger than me. That age gap is a pretty big one.... if the difference was 44 to 34 it might be different, because people are in different places in their lives after the age of 30. Early 20's are fun, yes, but sometimes they don't understand responsibility and kids and all the things that come with those things. The more time you spend with him, even though you have that insecurity about the age difference, you risk a relationship happening. Once the kids come into the picture he might have culture shock in thinking.... wow, I could be a dad! That could scare him away or keep him forever... a risk you have to take if you feel it. But because your worried about the age difference now, maybe thinking twice about it would be the best choice.

Good Luck!

Hugs,

Angelena

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 9:42am

I'm inclined to repeat what Angelena said... a generation down the road, it might work... but now... I wouldn't see anything "long term" materializing..... HOWEVER, I will say that if you can keep the perspective with him that you just want to have fun right now and not get into ANYTHING too serious, that as long as it's fun for you both.... you could spend the time learning about yourself while you're having fun with him.


After my divorce, I "dated".... very casually... just about any opportunity that came along (as long as it felt safe... and of course, I acted responsibly--dating LOTS of guys didn't mean that I was irresponsible or slept with them).


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 12:24pm
I have been living with a guy for 6 years that is 19 years younger. I am 43 he is 24.
We have the age difference issues in fact he is moving out today for the sixth time in 6 years. At first I told him I did not want children that I had mine and was not having anymore he replied that that was ok with him and he would just love everyone elses. Well now his maternal clock is ticking and twice we have broken up because he wants children. Im learning that I now feel that I need a man in my life to be able to build a future with. There is no future with my current boyfriend (soon to be ex) Now I am going thru being hurt very badly because I do love him very much but we just are not meant to be.
I wish I never got this relationship started at this point. Best of Luck with you
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2004
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 7:15pm

You go girl! I think that you can judge best if he's a mature 22 or not. If hes mature, then why not? I know a couple of women who have married much younger men and it worked out. Especially if he likes kids!!!

Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 8:48pm

i am dating a man 13 1/2 years older than me and it's the best relationship i've ever been in (29 to 43, just turned 28 when i met him).

check out the "may december romance" board it's great.

jen