New update, Good and Bad, need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2004
New update, Good and Bad, need advice
2
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 4:51pm

Ok. So I met with my attorney and he gave me some good news. He looked over the Legal seperation/property settlement agreement that my stbx and I prepared and said it looked good, as long as we are in agreement on the personal items we are fine and can sign it. He said that he will need a copy of the signed agreement and he can start to file the divorce stuff (my waiting period is up so I can file at any time) He said once I file and we both in agreement I could be done in a matter of weeks!!!

well... I talk to the stbx and now he doesn't want to sign it like he said he would. Right now we are under the same roof and he won't move out until the agreement is signed, and not he won't sign. how convenient... He said that he wants his own attorney to look it over. He doesn't even have one yet!! I told him to quit delaying the inevitable, if he is adamant about getting a second opinion he has a week to do it. I want to get a signed document to me attorney by Friday at the latest Monday. He is still trying to delay. I can't stand it!!! My first question is how to get him to move forward. He was in agreement and now all of a sudden he isn't. He keeps going back on things he says and I can't stand the roller coaster crap. Not only that I owe my attorney money. He told me I can wait to pay him until I bring back the signed agreement since everything was ok (thinking it would only be a couple of days since we both agreed to what was written) How do I get him to sign? If he won't now, how do I move forward without his signature. Is it even possible???

Thanks
V

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 9:44pm

If he came here and posted, I would tell him he MUST have his own attorney look over the agreement first, even if it means staying married a few more weeks. If he posted, maybe he would say something like 'my spouse is in such a hurry to get this over with and it just hurts so much, I'm not ready to let go so I guess I've been stalling.' I would tell him to get the attorney and try his best to move on, there is no other choice and stalling won't save the marriage if the other person wants it so much.

I understand you are anxious to get the divorce finalized. I was too. I know you are also worried (and with good reason) that he's going to keep dragging this out indefinitely. But it's best that both parties have an attorney review the document, and he should be able to get one in a week or so. You usually can't move on without his signature very quickly (in my state there was a 90-day waiting period if both parties agreed, a 2-year waiting period if one didn't want to sign). So it might be in your best interests to be supportive and encourage him to find an attorney, or do whatever you think might motivate him to follow through on his end of the deal. I was hoping to be divorced last year by early summer, and it didn't happen until September. There wasn't anything I could do about it, my attorney had a family emergency and then the court took forever to approve it. In the end, I got what I wanted, divorced, and the fact I had to wait a little longer is now in the past. It will be in the past for you too, you just have to scrape up a little more patience.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 9:59am

If he doesn't sign the papers by the deadline that you told him, ask your attorney to have him served.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~