For those unjustly accused of abuse
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For those unjustly accused of abuse
| Fri, 02-25-2005 - 2:49pm |
I think we can all agree that we hear the phrase "emotional abuse" quite often in cases of divorces. In courtrooms all over the country this phrase in used in a large percentage of custody disputes. Remember that arguing does not translate into emotional abuse. A good resource for anyone, man or woman, who has been unjustly accused of abuse is:
http://www.abuse-excuse.com/ae_home.html
Divorce is a difficult process by itself. False accusations can only lead to bitterness and sometimes violence.

adam...again with the statistics...I don't know about your situation but I do know that being called names everytime I turned around (not just by my STBX, but, HIS kids too), turned me OFF big time...I didn't deserve that then and I don't deserve it now!!! I guess, being puched in the face is not abusive...I guess the old saying goes...children learn what they are taught!!!!!!!!!
My idea of marriage is, it is a team. You respect each other. You don't favor any one child, the same rules apply to all involved!!! When a family "gets" married, it is blended...mine never "blended"....it was his way or the highway! There were 2 different sets of rules...his rules and mine...I tried to make this one family but no one respected the household rules (he was, at the beginning, agreeable on)...once he realized that his kids would do exactly what they wanted to do, he didn't want to play anymore...UNLESS his kids hounded him to death about the punishment that I imposed on them (mine, too) for screwing up, then he didn't get INVOLVED!!! He ,otherwise, played the martyr. He worked HARD and demanded that this was his house and I was there to serve him and HIS kids. TOO H%$# with me and mine!!! I was expected to CLEAN everything in this house (including his kids rooms) and my kids cleaned their own...HIS kid's "jobs" were to go to school and they didn't have any chores at all...my kids were expected to do chores though!!!
My kids were expected to clean and wash and do whatever he told them to do...but come holidays and whatever...did I get recognized? NOPE!!!!! On MOTHER'S DAY, I was reminded that I wasn't HIS mom. Do you think that He ever bought a card from our DD? NOPE AGAIN!!! What has that taught her?
On HIS holidays, (fathers day, his birthday, Christmas), I WENT ALL OUT FOR HIM!!! I guess HE DESERVED IT!!!!! Well, so did I but, he did not think so, so I guess that's the way it goes, RIGHT?!!! TELL me my STBX wasn't abusive!!!
To the board:
Let me remind all of us that we do not have to justify our decisions. They are ours, we have made them to the best of our ability. No one can live our lives for us better than we have done, no matter what rhetoric they may subscribe to. No one who has not shared our experiences,especially with our ex-husbands and wives, is qualified to judge us.
Hugs to all. I think very highly of the lot of you. Take care of yourselves and laugh as you press "ignore."