Why is he doing this to me!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Why is he doing this to me!!
2
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 3:46pm

I filed for divorce in Novermber 2004. I was very upset for awhile, but now I'm just frustrated and angry.

I am a full time mother of a 17 month old and a full time student. I was working part time, but was recently laid off due to my school hours. My employeer needed someone in the office during the afternoon, and that's when my classes are scheduled. Needless to say that financially everything is hard as well. I broke down and went and applied for state aide. That's helping a little, but until I can find a job that corresponds with my school schdule I don't know what to do. It's not like I'm not trying...I mean, I'm almost finished with my degree, and will soon have a good job.

Here's the thing. My soon to be ex is making life virtually impossible to bear. Somehow he had my home phone disconnected, even though he was not on the bill what so ever. He has recently stolen the title to my car that I just paid off with my tax refund. He has not paid one single cent of child support in the four months that he has been gone. My lawyer has set up a payment plan, but my ex does not have to pay it until the divorce is final next month. I also applied through the state for child support, but my ex has ignored all papers sent to him stating that he has to pay.

He calls me and screams, yells, and threatens me. I am terrified for my daughter to go with him on visits. His family also calls me and does the same things. His step-mother constantly tells me that I'm going to hell. I did not ask for this. He was the one that stopped coming home at night. Sometimes I wouldn't hear from him for days at a time. If he did come home, he was VERY drunk. Females would call my house at random hours asking to talk to him. I was bombarded with calls from girl on my cell phone wanting to see him and talk to him. However, he denies all of this...even though I have proof.

My daughter came home after a visit with him saying "oh crap" and "oh sh*t." What kind of father teaches their young innocent child how to say ugly words like that. He even admitted to me that he was teaching her these things just to get under my skin.

I have had to get a restraining order against him for being very violent with me and stalking me.

Everything is so chaotic and I don't know what to do. I have prayed, talked to people from church, etc., but I still feel so entirely helpless.

How can he get away with all of this? How can I protect my daughter? How can I get my car title back before he sells it to some car title loan place? I'm so stressed. My main focus is my daughter, who has very bad separation anxiety with me. She cries and screams everytime I have to leave her.

Please...someone offer some help to give me back my peace of mind.

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 6:59pm
Have you told your lawyer all of this? I think that would be a good place to start. They will likely have some good resources and advice for you. I wish I had some.


Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Embrace all equally!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 2:06pm

Hi Kait..... first off... if anyone calls you and can't treat you with respect, tell them "I'm not going to listen to you talk to me like that.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~