Divorce is final and judge changed...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Divorce is final and judge changed...
3
Sat, 05-07-2005 - 12:52pm

My divorce became final on the 4th of this month, and the judge changed X's visitation schedule, yet again. The GAL involved in our case filed an ex parte motion to modify.

April 25, we went to court again and the judge decided that he wasn't convinced that my X was a terrible and neglectful parent so he allowed him his overnights again on these conditions:

1. There would be a medical protocol from the GAL with instructions to my X on what medications should be administered how and when.

2. He is to not leave her with any of his other children for any reason and she is to be in his sight at all times that she is over at his house.

3. He was to obtain his own supply of her medication without fail.

4. No one but him is to administer her medication while he has her.

5. If he failed or forgot to give her even 1 dose of medication, his visitation would be limited to 6 hours a week where he would not be required to administer any meds except on an emergency basis

Needless to say, he left her with his 16 yo son who has drug and alcohol problems. He did get her medication but neglected to give her evening dose of flovent. When she came home Thursday morning her eyes were sunkin in, she looked as though she hadn't slept and her eyelids were really puffy. I called the GAL to report this and he in turn called my X who did indeed say that he did not give her any meds because she didn't need them.

It clearly states in the GAL's protocol what must be done (he even went to the dr.'s office and spoke with her about my dd). The Dr. even told the GAL that I have been the only person that has brought my dd to see her or to the hospital. She told the GAL that she has only met my X once in the 5 years she has been our Dr. and that he has never been involved with my dd's medical problems.

Because of the ex parte motion to suspend his overnights, my X has called for another hearing with the judge Tues. morning @ 8:30 a.m.. As if last Wed. wasn't enough, (we were in court for 8 hours over this divorce), now he wants all rights to our dd. I know that the GAL is scrutinizing everything that my X does, so I also let him know that my X doesn't have a valid drivers license and was out speeding around with my dd in the car. I don't know why my X continues to put himself through this, as the GAL has stated in court that he is a terrible father and his history of neglecting his other children speaks volumes. The judge told him when he allowed overnights to resume, that if he got one more complaint from the GAL, there would be repercussions. My X was also told, that he only had 16 days left to hire the court-appointed psychologist ($3,000.00) for the custody evaluation. If he didn't, the GAL's report would stand as is!

I'm tired of all these court dates! How am I suppose to get a job, or even hold one if I get one? Who would employ me with all of these court dates?

I feel that my X is sabotauging every move I make, and abuses the legal system to make my life impossible. I just don't know how much more I can take. This is absolutely rediculous!

Any words of wisdom? Please?

Melanie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 05-07-2005 - 1:31pm
Mel, i know it is horrible. The way this system in the courts works is atrocious, & your right, it would be SO hard to work during all this! I luckily work at 3pm, AND b/c i do weekends, i have lots of weekdays off to do all this crap. The GOOD thing is your GAL *SEES*! That can only work in yoru favor.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sat, 05-07-2005 - 2:09pm

I'm furious too! He just doesn't listen...not even a court order gets him to comply! Unbelievable! I've always said that he believes that he is above the law! If he keeps this up, he'll lose visitation altogether...permantently!

Oh well...I can't waste anymore energy on him...I'll let the courts handle it!

Melanie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sat, 05-07-2005 - 2:45pm
(((HUGS))) No advice on how much time this is taking up or how to work around that, but he certainly does seem to be too incompetant to follow the GAL guidelines. Hopefully the judge will see that clearly on Tuesday.

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