EEEEKKKKKKK I know I've lost my mind!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
EEEEKKKKKKK I know I've lost my mind!
7
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 5:19pm

Tell me.... how does an afternoon get so complicated.


Somewhere between my DS wanting things "simple"... and my "options and choices".... today's Tuesday visit with EX has gotten.... weird!


My sister is in town... for the band concert that is tonight.... DS has to eat and dress to be back at school before 6:00, and EX was planning to take the kids to dinner, then back to school.... but DS doesn't want to dress before he eats (and my SO has been cooking all day for dinner.... with me, my parents, my grandmother, sister, etc.)


So.... SO says, why doesn't EX just eat here with us.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 5:25pm

WOW, how noble of your SO!


weird, yes...... a great example, YEP!


Let us know how it goes :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2004
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 5:53pm
you know what? i don't think it's wierd at all! i think it's wonderful that you are at this stage. what could be better for your kids? relax and enjoy how far you've come. (does your so have a brother?) i look forward to the day i can do that too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 5:57pm

At least you will have a bunch of people around to act as buffers. It would be really weird if it was just you, SO, and X.

My mom and dad worked really hard to make special events work out. They were able to plan all big events together and there was very little awkwardness. Maybe this will be a good trial run for those big events that will be happening in the future. I will always be thankful to my parents for getting through the weird days and making everything somewhat normal. It gives me hope that I can make special events work for my dd.

If it gets too weird, make sure you have the wine nearby.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 11:10pm

I'm dying to hear how it went. Is the OW coming? LOL.

When I was on vacation two weeks ago I took dd to see my ex-SIL (ex does not take her out there, I go there to see my family so I go to see ex-SIL too). I was talking with her about the idea of moving back home (ex and I moved away in 1994), and about maybe her helping me convince my ex (her brother) that moving back is a good idea (note: I think I want to move back and with our joint custody arrangment, I need ex to move back in order to me to move back). She said her mom (my ex-MIL) is thinking of moving back too, which is another good reason to convince her brother to move back. So we were talking and I commented on how it must suck for her that she has no family around because they all moved away, and she agreed (I am not near family, but it's my own fault, I moved). She said her and her husband spend Thanksgiving with her ex and his family most years (some other holiday's too)! She has 2 children with her ex and one with her current husband, I can't imagine them all spending the holiday's together. She said her ex's family just feels bad for them that they can't always be around family at the holiday's. Very weird, good, but weird.

I hope it went well!




Edited 5/10/2005 11:11 pm ET ET by firstamendment

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2005
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 12:07am

My kids would love this! How did it go? I hope to someday be able to do this on special occasions, but I am not holding my breath nor will it happen any time soon. I am hoping we can all share a birthday party for our DD in Sept. I believe the movie Irreconcilable Differences ended with (Drew Barrymore's character's) parents taken her out to eat after fighting so horrendously for years. Right now for me though I think it's best that wouldn't happen because it would give my kids false hope. I know my neighbor has her STBX (divorce is taking 2+ years!) over for dinner w/ the kids and they attend school functions together. Hope it turned out good!

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 8:18am

Well..... it went smoothly.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Thu, 05-12-2005 - 12:48pm

Congratulations!!!!!

I'll bet you feel lotsa relief that situation is over, and all behaved like adults. Ya know, I'll bet your kids remember this event.

I went to an art show award dinner for my daughter and ex and new wife were there (trying to take over the whole thing, BTW). Afterward, my kid said she was worried about it because "you guys hate each other so much" but it "ended up being no biggie". They pay real close attention to how we behave.

There will be events like this in future...graduations, weddings, baby showers, etc...YIKES.

Cupcake