need help w/teenagers and divorce

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2005
need help w/teenagers and divorce
6
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 12:38pm
hello
this is my very first post I need help I am in the process of getting a divorce and I have two teenage sons 15 & 17. they are having trobles ajusting and I am scared that I am losing my influence as a mother I feel out of controll. stbx has not left the home yet. we are moving into our apt on the 1st. we have been married for 24 years. any suggestions would really help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 05-13-2005 - 12:35pm

Hello & Welcome... Sorry I didn't get to you sooner.


My daughter's counselor suggested that I get the book Parenting Teenagers: Systematic Training for Effective Parent... by Sr. D Dinkmeyer.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Fri, 05-13-2005 - 1:16pm

Hi there and welcome!


I agree with Karen's suggestions. I think we all think to ourselves, oh god a book? how is that going to help. Well I am living proof it does. I just got done reading ExEtiquette and I would swear by it. I don't read either... so this was a surprise to even me :)


Hugs to you and good luck.


Angelena

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2005
Fri, 05-13-2005 - 1:54pm
thank you I will go to the library this weekend. my stbx left 2 days ago. the boys seem to be okay with it. I am starting to pack for our move to the new apt. imagine my very first apt at 45 lol!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2005
Fri, 05-13-2005 - 1:56pm
hello
thank you for replying to my post who wrote the book ExEtiquette??
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Fri, 05-13-2005 - 2:08pm

Hi there,


Jann Blackstone-Fosrd and Sharyl Jupe


The full title is Ex Etiquette for Parents, Good behavior after a divorce or separation.


I definitely recommend it and I happen to have a copy up for grabs if anyone wants it :) ( free )


Take care and good luck :)


Angelena

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Fri, 05-13-2005 - 3:27pm

Hi Wendex,

So sorry you have such pain in your life right now, but you have come to the right place for support. These ladies have much experience in surviving divorce, not to mention many other things...

The advice you've gotten so far is right on track...educate yourself: read books, ask questions of your attorney, read these message boards, etc. I'd also suggest you listen carefully to your (nearly grown) boys. My son is 17 and the clues that he was upset/worried were very subtle. His dad threw him out of "his house" last year--we were supposed to have had joint phys. custody, and has barely seen/spoken to him since--now this is a great kid. Dad has the problems. Although he has been quite hurt from this, I think it matured him greatly--he is quite responsible now, except for the messy bedroom, but THAT is the least of my worries.

i know you'll find compassionate support here and email me if I can help.

Cupcake