Dating? When / How? Arrrrggghhh!
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 05-12-2005 - 2:45am |
Hi all,
My divorce has been final since Jan and I am happy in the place I am in. Glad to have the drama done and all that. I don't hate him though. And a couple things seem to be keeping me from moving forward. 1. I have 2 small children (3 and 5). 2. The thought of someone seeing my fat ugly 'after kids' stomach is so horrible to me. 3. I can't imagine the pain my ex would feel if he knew I was dating (I know this one should not matter...) 4. I AM SO OUT OF PRACTICE, I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO! I dated a little before I met my X but that was when I was 17/18. I am 32 now! A little bit out of touch!
I know it is still soon and I am not in a rush. (In fact, I could easily stay single but I do miss grown up conversation) I have like 4 people 'in line' waiting for me to be ready and go out on blind dates with their friends! I honestly don't think I will ever be READY!
Anybody else have a hard time moving on...?
HeyTriciaC

I dont think i will have a difficult time moving on ... I feel like its my "redo" chance!
I know just how you feel!
Hey there!
First off, I totally understand where you are coming from. I had 2 young children from my divorce as well ( I have 3 now, another story in itself ) ages 19 months and 6. When I started dating my daughter was 1 month old. You can only imagine the sensitivity I had with this whole thing.... talk about flabby belly!
I think for me, I did it as revenge. I know this sounds terrible but I forced myself into the "meeting people" world even before I had my daughter. My H left when I was 4 months pregnant and it was probably in November, a month before my daughter was born, that I met someone, online, who knew I was pregnant but I never met the person in person. I basically needed to know that I wasn't dead. The more people I met, the more I talked, online only, and knew that I was someone, not just someone who was left by their husband. I had my daughter 12/7/03 and by January 7 I went on my first real date. I was "fat" feeling weird because I was with someone else other than H and all around awkward...but you know what? He liked me anyway :) I didn't see him again after that first date but the more I went out the more confident I felt.
I also began to work on me. I lost 80 pounds from December to February, even though I was still "heavy" and "flabby" I felt better about me knowing I fit into pre-pre- pregnancy jeans ;) I also worked a lot on my relationships, got rid of a lot of bad baggage, so to speak. That also helped because I knew I was in control of my life.
Bit by bit, you just are "ready". Yes we are self conscious but that goes away with time because if someone liked us now, someone will love us later, regardless of how WE perceive ourselves to be.
Hugs to you and GOOD LUCK!
Angelena
Pingl,
I totally agree. As I look around, I am finding myself interested in the same type of person. I am aware of it though and plan to keep my eyes WIDE open.
Rich,
You sound like a great person with a REALLY good attitude! Thanks!
Melanie,
Good luck, I hope it all works out for you! You deserve to be happy!
Separateways,
Wow, what a concept! Sounds like a good idea.
Angelena,
Wow, I just can't imagine dating so soon... But I totally understand that if you find the right person it will be easier. Sounds like you have your hands full! How do you ever find time to date?
Thanks all, I feel better.
Tricia