My DD child of Divorce

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
My DD child of Divorce
2
Thu, 05-12-2005 - 10:58pm

Quick refresher Kicked STBX out Jan. 16th 2004. Within a couple months he had gotten his sister's sis-n-law prego. (However still don't think it is his, not that it would make a difference, other baby's mom O+ blood type, STBX O+ blood type and this baby is A+. I am O+ and our DD O+ but then again I am not a doctor.) Ok so he denies that he is messing around and denies it up to the day after this other kid is born and introduces our DD to her new "sister" without consulting me first and our DD wonders "how does AUnt have my sister when you and my dad are married?!!!" But yet I am the one that can't move on (stated from both STBX and his family (very protective 4 sisters but if their hubbies would have done this to them PAHLEEZE!! I wouldn't have a probelm in moving on if hmmmm STBX would have filed for divorce instead of making me pay for it like I am paying for everything else. He said he only slept with her because he was LONELY -- he was only out of the house for 2 mins.

So here is my question....My parents took in STBX when he was 17. His parents (heroin addicted father and subserviant mother) would spend all their money at the 1st of the mnonth and have nothing for STBX. My family showed him love and famly. We were together for over 16 years. He was the son my father never had and STBX would drop and jump at the mention that my parents wanted soemthing done. Then I don't know what happened to him. But my parents have always been a part of my daughter's life. Coming and taking her on the weekends JUST BECAUSE. Always calling her if they hadn't talked to her in a couple of days. My STBX's father died at age 47 and never got to see our DD. So I remember what a sorta shock that was (even with his drug abuse for years he always came through) so I said if my parents want to see her I will never say no because you never know when they won't be around.

So tonight my parents asked for her to come spend the night and within 10 minutes after dropping her off she calls and says I want to come home. My parents were so heartbroken.

Before the separation my DD never wanted to come home from grandma's and grandpa's. I would go get her and she would cry because she didnt' want to come home. NOw she doesn't even want to go.

Any suggestions....when she is with her dad she doesn't cry to come home to me but why with my parents?

Thanks any input will be appreciated....Oh not that I want her gone because I don't I dread every other weekend he comes and gets her. (But I know some kids fathers are in their lives at all and I know she needs to see her father even though he is the biggest son of a b&$#@)

Thanks again!!

FeliciaRG

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 10:46am

Hi Felicia.... it could just be a little anxiety about the changes... and will probably subside with time.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 1:10pm

I agree with karen. and i wonder - would your dd agree to go to your parents for a SHORT visit? or maybe have your parents come to your house for a visit to play? ease her back into the relationship/