excited and scared
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excited and scared
| Thu, 05-12-2005 - 11:01pm |
Well, after months of complaining about still having to live with STBX, I am moving out tomorrow. Even though the thought of having my own place with just my dd makes me happy and relieved, I am scared to death. I started to move stuff in today, and the realization that I will not be living with him anymore really got to me. I guess all of the fights and arguments were some sort of security blanket. I knew that even though we weren't really speaking for days on end, he would still be there (some of the time). The fact that our anniversary is coming up in a couple of weeks doesn't help matters. Just packing everything up and going through all of our old papers, pictures etc. just really made me sad at the thought that our marriage just didn't make it. At times I really think I hate him, then there are times when I just realize that we want different things out of life and would never have "happily ever after". I know that we will always have a connection b/c of our dd and that no matter how we feel about each other, we have a daughter that we brought into this world together that needs us to work together. I guess the reality just came crashing down that I will be a divorced single mother. It makes me really sad. But no time for sadness, I have packing to do!

There's nothing that says that you can't remember... and cherish to good times (and be thankful that there were some good times to remember and feel sad about losing!).... appreciate the good times and remember them always.... but choose to learn from the experience, to grow as a person.... and make every day forward even better than the day before.
Congratulations.... and good luck!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I remember doing the same thing (however we don't have any kids) but my ex said it was over so I started packing my things and just going through all the paper work and wedding pictures and memories is hard. That was 01.12.05 and it feels like it was just yesterday. Be strong for you and your daughter and things will be okay one day! At least you have each other. *hugs*
I think that is what really bothers me about my ex's gf. If he is happier with her (and I don't believe he is) then so be it. But it bothers me that she wants him to act he was never married and doesn't have kids. He is not allowed to talk to me about the kids or otherwise without her giving him the third degree. But the fact of the matter is, we DO remember, and remembering good times, and even talking about them, doesn't mean we are getting back together. And pretending she was his first everything doesn't change the fact that is WAS married and had a great life for a while.
Not to mention, to me, someone who looks back on his marriage with only horrible memories...makes me think I don't want to be with him either.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~