MOVED AWAY ADVISE

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2005
MOVED AWAY ADVISE
5
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 3:55pm

Hi

recently married again for the 2nd time.. want to move to another state to be with my new hubby. Fighting with the EX to bring our 2 teenage daughters with me. Better schools and better way of life. New hubby is in the airlines businesss so my daghters would have FREE flight privledges. EX & his girl friend are talking to the girls and telling them " that they will have no friends" as well as very nasty things about me.
Even offering to give them money for a brand new wardrobe to stay here..

Any advise would be apprectiated.. I feel like I am climbing a sand hill
Cee

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 4:15pm
Having been in this situation, I don't have any happy news for you. With teenagers, it is going to be difficult to

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 4:37pm

Usually the rule is that if both parents agree to the move, all is fine. If they don't agree, then the parent that wants to move is free to move but leave the children behind. If you want the right to move, you may have to fight for that in court, and that can take years and will easily cost tens of thousands of dollars. Because your children are older, they will be given a say (not total say, but a voice in court) on what they want. The best solution is some kind of compromise and usually the way to get that is through lots of communication and negotiation with your ex.

I don't condone your ex talking bad about you, but usually a parent fighting to keep their children in the state happens because that parent cares about the relationship they have with the children and they don't want to go months at a time without being able to see their child. Moving away often causes a deterioration in the parent-child relationship, and even if that parent isn't the most ideal parent in the world most courts do seek to preserve an existing relationship with that parent.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2005
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 8:36pm

Well. My EX will not be cut off from the kids..especially with emails and cell phones- he would actually get more time physical per month.. 3 weekends were offered and I offered to fly him out to see the kids once every 2 months. he would also get ALL holidays and summer vacation ( excluding 2 weeks so I can have a vacation with them)
I know he has his rights but when the girls are there at his house.. they don't even like it
I know in my heart the move would be good for the kids. He is just bitter bacuse I left him 4 years ago.. he is still hurt and trying to hurt me.

enough rambling.. wish me luck in the 31st
Cee

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 8:43pm
Would teenagers really want to fly out of town 3 weekends every month? What is on the 31st?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2003
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 9:53pm
Better schools, better way of life, that's probably not what your teenagers are looking at. Looks like you may have to choose between your love and your children, I wouldn't want that choice. I know if I tried to take my son out of state - where he would have "better schools and a better way of life," I would have World War III on my hands. Good luck, but don't be surprised if you have to make a choice.