I need some help with my ds...
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| Mon, 05-16-2005 - 7:04pm |
Ladies, I have to say that I am truly frustrated today... about two weeks ago, I got the word from Joey's teacher that he is hitting the other children in school... we spent that weekend (found out on a Friday) talking about how he shouldn't hit, pinch, bit or punch--he said the reason he was doing so was because "they" were taking "his" toys... so we also spent a lot of time talking about how the toys at school weren't his, they belonged to everyone and he needs to share.
Last week, we told him if he made it to Wednesday w/o hitting, punching, biting, etc that we would go get pizza... well on Wednesday, he let go and hit someone... so then we changed it to Friday... and you guessed it...
so this weekend, there were lots of talks about it again and...
today... when Mom goes to pick him up, he's sitting in the pre-school director's office because he punched someone and bloodied their nose...
Ladies, I need help... I need know this needs to stop... I don't know what to do... all the talking isn't seeming to do much good... I had called my xh the friday we initially found out and he called that fri and sat to talk about how bad hitting was but when I tried to call him tonight his phone was was temporarily out of service... my father in law and Joey's uncles have all talked to him this past weekend, but it's still happening...
Any advice for the mommy of the class bully?
*hugs*
Julie and Joey

I am not sure talking can go to far with a younger child. I wonder if some role playing might work better. Do you know any younger children that could role play with him? If not, you and he could do it. Ask him what happens prior to the hitting and then re-enact the whole situation. If he says "well sometimes a so-and-so just walks up and grabs the toy from my hands" then role playing happening, give him words to use instead of his fists and have him practice it over and over. It sounds like hitting is your son's natural reaction, and he's probably not going to have a different reaction until he has some experience using a different reaction.
My sister's nephew is a hitter and she watches him a few days a week, she also has two children of her own. When we were there last week, my niece was telling my dd to do something and my dd wasn't listening (my dd didn't want to do what my niece wanted her to do), and my niece turned to my sister and said "mommy, I'm using my words and she's not listening to me." I am sure my sister taught my niece to say that when she wasn't getting her way, which alerts my sister to step in and resolve the issue and prevent an all out brawl. I doubt my 3 year old niece came up with those words on her own, it sounded as if they had been drilled into her little mind in order to keep the peace, and I think she's had lots of practice using that sentence.
But really I know nothing about children who hit and probably shouldn't even be giving advice on it. So my other suggestion is go to the library and get some books on this. I am positive other parents have been in your position and someone has to have written down all the various things you might want to try. :) I am sure something will work. (((HUGS))))
Hi there,
I actually have some advice on this one :)
My SIL has a son who was actually kicked out of daycare because he bit all of the other kids. Basically for the same reasons as your son is hitting. They took "his" toys... etc....
Well, it turns out that SIL's son who is 6 now was having a hard time communicating. Even though he asked for things and spoke just fine, he was having a hard time speaking his feelings on things and got frustrated that we didn't see what he was trying to say.. or in the daycare's case, he couldn't get his point across to his friends so he would bite them....
SIL got in touch with a speech therapist and within a week the biting stopped. No joke. That's when they made the diagnosis that he just could not communicate what he was feeling or whate he wanted.
I am wondering if maybe it's the same problem that your son is having?????
Hugs to you and good luck.
Angelena
Oh my Julie!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I agree with cl-wild,
Looks like it might be time for trip to the child psychologist. I believe if I remember your story - your ex has moved several states away. He may be lashing out at not seeing his dad. If he is bullying now - he should probably be taken to have a look at......