He spent a Night in Jail
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He spent a Night in Jail
| Mon, 05-23-2005 - 4:50pm |
Hello, I had the worse weekend. When my husband said that he didn't think our marriage was repairable, I thought about it for a while and decided to take a stronger approach. So last Thursday night, I told him that I was not wiling to grant him a divorce unless he went to some type of counselng with me first. If after we tried that, things still didn't work, I would give him a divorce. If he skipped the counseling altogther then he would need to move out for at least 6 months before I would give him a divorce.
Well, he got really upset. The situation escalated. It was getting out of hand, so I decided to leave the house. I was afraid he might put his hands on me. He demanded to know where I was going. He stood in my way and wouldn't let me leave. He ripped the jeans, I was going to put on, in half. Then he threw all my clothes from the closet onto the floor. He was in such a rage. Then he finally left the room. I was so in shock that he was this angry that I left and called the police. To make a long story short. Once they saw our bedroom and the jeans he had ripped in half, they decided to arrest him. He spent the night in jail. I had to bond him out, but he could not leave with me. I had to call a friend to pick him up. He was charged with domestic battery and criminal destruction of property. He could have no contact with me whatsoever for 72 hours. He couldn't even come to the house when I wasn't there. Today the 72 hours are up, and he's coming home. He has spoken with our daughter. That's how I know that. I can't believe it came to this. Now the situation is even worse. Oh, and no more shielding my daughter. She
knows everything. I'm afraid there will most certainly be no negotiating a divorce now. What do I say to him?
Well, he got really upset. The situation escalated. It was getting out of hand, so I decided to leave the house. I was afraid he might put his hands on me. He demanded to know where I was going. He stood in my way and wouldn't let me leave. He ripped the jeans, I was going to put on, in half. Then he threw all my clothes from the closet onto the floor. He was in such a rage. Then he finally left the room. I was so in shock that he was this angry that I left and called the police. To make a long story short. Once they saw our bedroom and the jeans he had ripped in half, they decided to arrest him. He spent the night in jail. I had to bond him out, but he could not leave with me. I had to call a friend to pick him up. He was charged with domestic battery and criminal destruction of property. He could have no contact with me whatsoever for 72 hours. He couldn't even come to the house when I wasn't there. Today the 72 hours are up, and he's coming home. He has spoken with our daughter. That's how I know that. I can't believe it came to this. Now the situation is even worse. Oh, and no more shielding my daughter. She
knows everything. I'm afraid there will most certainly be no negotiating a divorce now. What do I say to him?
Signatures On
| Mon, 05-23-2005 - 4:54pm |
What do you want to say to him? Did this change your mind about wanting counseling? I assume if he wanted a divorce, his resolve has not improved, would you agree?
| Mon, 05-23-2005 - 5:24pm |
I can't imagine that him spending a night in jail would change his mind on wanting a divorce. I feel like such a fool. In the back of my mind, I still feel there is hope for this marriage. I just can't seem to let it go and face the harsh reality. I know when I go home today, everything will be finalized. He's going to tell me that he most definately wants a divorce. After what happened on Thursday, I'd proabablt be a fool to still insist that I'm going to contest it. There's an appt with a lawyer tomorrow. He made that last week. A divorce is going to be devastating to me. How can I cope?
| Mon, 05-23-2005 - 5:29pm |
If I were you, I would go see the counselor by myself. This is a tough road for anyone, and it's always better with a qualified therapist to talk to and give you practical ways to cope.
| Mon, 05-23-2005 - 5:47pm |
I'm seeing a therapist now. I have been off and on for a couple years. I just don't know how you let go of someone that you've loved for years. He's the father of my child. If only he would work through this with me, I think we could be successful. I guess that's not going to happen. It would be easier if he just cheated, or did something so dreadful that I could bnver forgive him. Then maybe I could get over him easier.
| Mon, 05-23-2005 - 5:49pm |
There is no easy way to come to accept what is happening or get over it. It will take time, patience and strength. This is a huge loss and you need time to grieve before you will be ready to move on and rebuild.
| Mon, 05-23-2005 - 9:06pm |
I dont think you can FORCE anyone into counseling to force them to stay in a marriage.

