ABout to be SICK

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
ABout to be SICK
6
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 1:09pm

Today was the day, he filed this morning, called work told my step dad to tell me I would be served soon. Now, I'm sick to my stomach, I just saw him and his gf following him through town, that's even worse. I think I'm going to throw up. I just want to ball my eyes out and keep asking Why me. I already know the answer, he didn't want this marriage and I have to except that and move on, but I can't it is so hard. I need nerve meds bad. How do I get over this sick feeling? I feel like my world has crashed in on me and I'm not sure how to handle it. Prayers please and alot of positive thoughts. Thanks.

Stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 1:40pm
Hugs, Stacy. I've felt a lot of the feelings you're describing and I've heard a lot of others here express them, so what you're feeling right now is totally normal. I know that doesn't make it any easier, except maybe it might make you feel a teeny bit better to know that there's not something wrong with you and that many people in your position react much the same as you are right now. I was a mess for the first weeks after we separated - I cried, begged him to come back, avoided people, barely slept (cleaning until 4:30 in the morning because I couldn't lie still), barely ate. I think that was the roughest time of my life. But I did get through it, and gradually things started to improve. It's easy for people to say you have to accept it and move on, but doing it isn't as easy as saying it. You need time to deal with the emotions associated with the breakdown of your marriage - shock, grief, anger, etc. We all do it on our own timetable and in our own way, and don't feel like you 'should' be dealing with this in a certain way or timeframe.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 1:42pm

First off: Take a few deep breaths. I know exactly how you are feeling. IT WILL BE OKAY. You will get through this. I know right now it seems IMPOSSIBLE but it ISNT. The men always seem to be able to move on right away and it leaves us wondering how, why and so many other things. Do alot of reading. My favorite author is Iyanla Vanzant. Her books helped me through my darkest hours and this web site. Lord knows helped me tremendously and still does. It's been a yr and a half for me and I still miss him sometimes. Its normal and okay. I just dont act on it anymore. But I still have the urges at times and I just do other things or remember the hell he put me through. It gets me by.

Honey you are not alone at all. We are here for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 7:37pm
Sending many prayers and positive thoughts your way! I remember that feeling clearly. It enabled me to lose 20# within the first month of him handing me the papers. Totally blindsided me. The meds aren't so bad and maybe you should look into them. I take two antidepressants and a sleeping pill. I also used Xanex everyday for the first thirty days. I still use it on occation. Take care of yourself. Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 7:21am
Hang in there!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 8:43am
Hugs again. I just wanted to add after reading Brenda's post... You're making a big life adjustment right now and feeling like you're on a rollercoaster of emotions is a normal response to the situation. I think it's a great idea to talk to your doctor about what's going on and get his/her evaluation. It is possible your doctor will feel medication is indicated to help you through this. Or your doctor may feel that it has only been a short amount of time since this has all happened, and that you should give yourself a little more time to adjust before considering medication. Hang in there, sweetie, I hope things get better for you soon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sat, 08-27-2005 - 1:57pm

I know exactly the feeling you are describing. I have been divorced completely for 6 months and I still get that panicky, throwing up, tunnel vision, anxious, i want to die feeling every once in a while. For the weirdest reasons. I lost 30# after we separated and became a hysterical mess resulting in my girlfriend taking me to the doctor for medical help - what I fondly call my "happy pills." While I am not an advocate for drugs (I sue drug companies for bad drugs), in this situation, I think they may have saved me from losing my job and my will to live.

It will get better. Maybe you won't notice it all at once but it will happen. It's hard not to dwell on what I should or could have done to make it "work" -- that won't get you anywhere right now. Things might seem impossible but you will find that, if you just ask, your friends and family will be there for you in whatever way you need.

Many hugs!!!!