Limboland

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2005
Limboland
2
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 3:22pm
Well, it's been a while since I last posted, or have been on the site. For those of you who don't remember me, or are new yourself to the board, my husband had been living at home, but kept all his stuff in his truck. He and I have since seperated. We've been seperated since Memorial Day Weekend...there's a new twist to the memorable part to that holiday celebration. I have been very strong in handling all of this. My 4 year old is still struggling with understanding it, but, she's doing well with all things considered. Since my husband has left, I've put the house on the market, consulted with a lawyer, been to one mediation session and have been going out with friends. But, here I am without a divorce in process. Though I've consulted a lawyer and been to another for a mediation session with my husband, nothing official has been filed. And I wonder why! I can't see him in my future. But, we've been spending more time together...talking on the phone, him coming over for extra visits, etc. But, ultimately, it doesn't really mean a whole heck of a lot, I still can't see him in my future. It's just prolonging the inevitable, and I don't know why I am participating in this avoidance. Has anyone else experienced this? It's like he and I have rekindled a friendship that we had prior to getting married. We've known each other our whole lives practically-we grew up across the street from one another and were friends before we were anything else. The friendship we have now is just superficial- I can't trust him as far as I can throw him since he cheated on me, and continues to carry on a secret life- I don't even know where he lives right now. So, what is up with this? Why do I continue in this weird quasi-friendship with him? I know you don't know me and probably can not tell me why I am doing the things I am doing or why I'm where I am in terms of the marriage. I have 2 children- a 4 yr old girl and a 6 month old girl. I've said I will keep things amicable for the kids, but I think this goes beyond that. It's like I know the marriage is over and I can't have him as my husband, but I am resistant to losing him completely. AND, I know he is still a liar, so why do I keep him around at all? I want to move forward with getting a divorce, and here I sit, doing nothing to make it move forward. Am I alone in this weird limbo?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: greeneyegemini
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 5:53pm
When you have kids.... what you're experiencing is a GOOD thing!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: greeneyegemini
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 10:56pm
I also don't want to lose my Xh. I miss him so much. I would rather have him as a friend than not at all. Our divorce was very amicable. 15years of marriage was erased in less than 5 months. I am sorry yours has not progressed as much. Right now, just take care of yourself and your babies. To heck with eveything else.
Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda