Anniversary on Wednesday!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2001
Anniversary on Wednesday!
6
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 12:19am

So what do we do? We are still married. He still tells me he wants to work it out, and I honestly wish that that was the case. I think he is dating and it hurts me so much. He has been to busy and/or tired lately to spend any time with me even though he plans to "continue working on the marriage."

He was horrible to me, and still pulls nasty tricks and does plain old stupid stuff, but I miss him. I am happier living without him, but I miss him.

I have been so confused lately and I think it is because I am finally realizing that it is over. So do we spend our last anniversary together? It is on Wednesday. What would we even do?

I know most of this is jumbled garble but I have really been feeling depressed...maybe it is because I have my period, lol.

Avatar for eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 8:25am

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time.


If he says he wants to work it out, but dates other women and generally makes you feel terrible you need to move on. IMHO, I would not spend my anniversary with someone I was divorcing who wasn't sincere about trying to work it out. I would probably do something special for myself. Hang in there, it will get better.


Melanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 9:24am

He wants to work on the marriage but is dating, plays tricks on you and hasn't spent any time on the

Sanguine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 12:20pm

Plan something special for YOU!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 4:38pm

"He was horrible to me, and still pulls nasty tricks and does plain old stupid stuff, but I miss him. I am happier living without him"

You will be happier if you make a firm decision. If it is over, tell yourself it is over, and don't do things that will confuse your heart, like expecting to celebrate an Anniversary. Just one woman's opinion. We each travel through this tunnel at our own pace.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 7:09pm

Hi,
No way. I would hightail it outta there. My XH wanted to spend our anniversary together too, because we hadn't been separated very long at the time. But I realized it was just him feeling guilty - he had a gf too. I decided spending that day with him would be simply too much heartache. I went and got my hair and nails done instead.

Of course, it always comes down to you. But it doesn't sound to me that your ex is sincere. It seems like you give and give and end up getting hurt. Of course you are lonely, but do you really miss HIM or do you miss being married and the routine? You said he was pretty awful to you. Think about it.

My recommendation to you is to take the day for yourself, and do something special. Or rent a chick flick, eat chocolate and cry.

Might be time to start thinking about enforcing a "no contact" rule, so you can get your emotions more stable, without him saying one thing and showing you another.

Just IMHO...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2005
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 11:47am

On my last anniversary (10th) I thought, "I don't want to sit around this house!" I had no idea what STBX was thinking, so I took the initiative and asked one of my girlfriends if she wanted to go out that night.

STBX was upset. I couldn't believe it! I said, "You're the one who's throwing this marriage away, and you want to celebrate our *anniversary?*"

So I went out with my friend Victoria. We went to a nice restaurant, had steak dinners, went to a movie and then to Starbucks for frappuccinos. Yum!

STBX thinks all my friends and family (and I!) should still like him. He's delusional!

Your anniversary is probably over by now, but I hope you did something for *you.*

Barb S.