DS is trying my patience...

Avatar for susieyippin
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
DS is trying my patience...
5
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 1:57pm
DS, 18, is really getting on my nerves. Yesterday, while he was at school, I answered 3 calls for him on our phone. 2 messages were from his work, and the other was from his "girlfriend". When DS got home after 9:30 last night, he went to his brother's room (where he was trying to go to sleep), turned on his light, and walked down the hall to his own room. I got out of bed ( it was an exhausting day, and I was just hanging out, watching some TV before turning in) to see what was up, and I told DS that there were a couple of messages for him. He got really rude, "I KNOW! WHY do you have to tell me this. I KNOW who called me." I told him, "Hey, I told the callers that I'd make sure you received your messages. *I* don't know if you've gotten these messages already." This has happened several times before, where he's been rude when I've told him about calls. Should I not give him his messages, or what? I will talk with him, and tell him that I don't appreciate his rudeness and disrespect, when I was trying to be considerate to him and his callers, but I'd appreciate any advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 2:16pm

Here's the rule in my house (and I have 3 teens!).

Sanguine
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 09-14-2005 - 1:01pm

OUCH! aren't those teens just sooooo sweet???? your ds cannot talk to you this way - period. and he needs to know that - you need to tell him (not when he's in a bad mood) that you will not tolerate his behavior.


other than that, i would follow sanquines advice: set up a message taking system that everyone will follow. when you take the message, say something like "I will leave this on (whereever you make up to leave messages) and I hope that john will see it". IOW - you take the message but don't make it your responsibility. I do this at work - i know that work and home are not the same, but still..... my boss rarely returns calls and then i get yelled at - so i simply say "i will put the note in her box or you can email her". and then when they call back to complain i say "as i told you, i put the note in her box".

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Wed, 09-14-2005 - 1:39pm

I agree! That sounds

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 09-14-2005 - 9:54pm
Susie, You're going to think I am an old bag lady, but I would tell that child that from now on you are not his secretary and he can fend for himself. Tell the people that call for him, when they ask if you can take a messege, NO! You deserve to be treated with respect and should accept nothing else. Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

Avatar for susieyippin
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
Thu, 09-15-2005 - 9:25am
DS has a cell phone, so I'll just tell his callers to ring his cell. He never turns it on, but part of being an adult (which he claims he IS) is having to answer the phone, and he'll learn soon enough.