Custody...I'm scared
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Custody...I'm scared
| Wed, 09-14-2005 - 11:27am |
My STBX has decided he wants a 50/50 custody split. Yes, over the last two weeks he has been the model dad. But before that, he was never home. As it is now, I have my son 4 days, he has him 3. I think it's a great arrangement, but I guess he doesn't think so.
Does anyone else have a 50/50 split? Is it very likely the courts will award this?

Hey Justice:)
Hugs to you, I know custody is scary, just know that we are here with you. I wish I had some advice for you.
I'm so sorry you're frightened.
As to custody, it all depends on where you are. In some states, 50/50 is the norm, in my state, it's not.
I currently have a 50/50 split and I don't like it at all. But I agreed to it to avoid putting the kids through a jury trial for custody, plus my legal fees were already astronomical. My ex sued for full custody. Like yours, he was the invisible dad before the D, but became SuperDad and Mr. Mom rolled into one after the D.
Many many people on these boards do have 50/50 splits and it works very well for their families. It's different in every case. Think hard about what your son wants and what would be best for him. My kids are benefitting from their Dad's newfound interest in them.
You're going to need to take some action and educate yourself on what the state norm is for your area. Get legal advice, it sounds like you don't have an attorney. Hire an attorney if at all possible. Get on the web and read the actual family code for your area.
I think you'll feel less fear if you educate yourself and know better what to expect.
Cupcake
Hugs, Brenda
50/50 requires that both of you are willing to each bend over backwards to make it work.... and it can work... it just takes lots of interacting with each other and lots of ground rules.... but it can be very good for the kids.
As far as your EX turning into a model dad..... My EX is a much more involved parent now that we're divorced.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I just found this post, and thought I'd respond.
I do have him slightly more than 57/43 because I also have him additional time before and after-school on Mondays and Tuesdays. At this point, I think the STBX has more a problem he has with the wording of the custody agreement than the actual time.
Plus, I plan to be very flexible with the arrangement, allowing for plenty of extra time whenever he (or I) wants it.