OH NOW IT'S OWN, THAT BAS#%^D!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
OH NOW IT'S OWN, THAT BAS#%^D!
11
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 12:31pm

The day before our son's surgery that son of bi@$h had some chick serve me with court papers. He's taking me to court for JOINT CUSTODY and he wants to get his C.S. amount reduced because he's unemployed.

Then on top of that he tells me heads up he's also suing me for "all his furniture" in my apt. All this the day before our son gets surgery!

I could spit nails. My son is home as of today and his so called father didnt even come to see him at all. He says b/c I told him I stilll have a r/o against him (not true) and says Im out to get him and just want him to come to the hospital so I can try to get him arrested.

It has gotten UGLY and it hasnt even started yet. Im not playing nice, thoughtful anymore. Now Im pissed.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 12:46pm

OMG.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 12:47pm

More questions, what does your current custody order say, or do you have one?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 1:13pm

As of right now we dont have one. We had agreed on trying to deal with the visits outside of court. But b/c he could have his way on one day he wanted him he first disowned him, saying I could keep him. I have that message on my answering machine but it's one of those tapless machines. I have to call the company to see what will happen if I unplug the machine.

Now he's accusing me of keeping the baby from him. But I can request the phone records from the phone company showing how he hasnt attempted to call in the last 2 months and a week. Thank you for your advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 1:22pm

Remember, he can accuse you of whatever he wants.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 1:35pm
I'm so sorry he's pulling this, luv, especially considering the timing. I think Jennie's offered you some excellent advice. Don't let him drag you into personal debates where he might be able to get some ammunition against you. Limit communication to messages that you can record, and if you've kept a journal of incidents showing his behaviour (like his 3 month disappearance) that may be helpful. Even if the company says it's safe to unplug the machine, I'd first make a copy by playing the message and recording it (with a handheld device or if you have a stereo with a tape recorder). Since he's likely to say you've kept his son from him, try to think of specific incidents you bent over backwards to accommodate him even on short notice, and write out the details so you have them if you need them. Right now he's probably expecting you to call him and freak out and continue the old pattern so he can control your emotions again and also try to make you out to be the bad guy. Don't fall for his games - I think he's going to just end up making himself look like the idiot he is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 1:55pm

Again, I thank all of you deeply. You just dont know how much. Great idea about recording the message with a hand held device as back up protection. the message is a great example of his sick behavior. He even says on the message how he was gonna go to court last yr but didnt because he doesnt believe in the court system. Can you imagine. I wonder how a judge well that statement will go over with the courts.

He also said I could change the baby's last name b/c now my mom has three grandkids with no father's. I know he doesnt think I still have that message.

What are the odds of him being able to get the material things (furniture, t.v. etc) out of the apt. He said he was going to sue me for all of that. He's waited a yr and half and NOW he wants "all his" furniture. Says I did nothing to help him buy that stuff. I used to keep the receipts and when we broke up I ripped them up and flushed them down the toilet. Do you think he has a leg to stand on with regards to that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 2:18pm

I don't think he has a leg to stand on with the furniture either.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 2:40pm

Not the way he's telling me that he goes to bed at night hungry. He's such a LIAR. And he says he cant buy the things he wants to and its all my fault.

What a jerk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 2:45pm

Is he wanting joint legal or physical? If there is no agreement, then more than likely he already has joint legal (meaning he has a say in major decisions and you have to notify him of medical stuff, like you have). If he wants joint physical (like a 50/50 time split or something), it'd be tough for him. Hopefully you have most of the incidents documented. If not, I know you've posted about several of them. Go back and get these posts. They will have a date and time stamp on them that cannot be altered. Like the other posters said, make a back up of the messages, be sure to record the time and date of them. You can call the phone company to obtain records of him never calling for three months. Also, the fact that he didn't bother to show up for the surgery is going to look really, really bad for him.


As far as the child support goes, if he willfully quit his job, then more than likely they aren't going to lower it and will consider what he doesn't pay as back child support that he owes you.


Now, about recording the phone coversations, in most states it is legal to record the converstation as long as one person knows that it is being recorded. For example, you know it's being recorded, so you could record a converstation between you and him, but not between him and his little skank b/c neither of them know it's being recorded. I'm not sure where you live, but, if you'll email me or post the state and county I should be able to find something, my xFIL and xBIL are both third year law students.


I do know that the furniture will be considered abandoned. The fact that he paid for it does not matter. Once property has been abandoned, good title to it passes to the person who finds or takes possession of it. (I took business law last semester and we went in depth into this subject.) For the property not to be considered abandoned, he'd have to show proof that he

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 2:52pm

Great idea about going back to

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