After a Breakup or Divorce who~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2002
After a Breakup or Divorce who~
8
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 7:04pm

generally gets over it and moves on quicker: Men or Women?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 7:40pm

Good Question!


I think men tend to "hide" their feelings as opposed to actually dealing with them forcing them to move on.


Women..... well, I believe we deal with our feelings making our "recovery" seem longer, but in actuality it is the men who spend years recovering because they hide.... we deal.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 8:39pm

I agree. Woman just seem to analyze every minute detail since that is the way we are programmed but in the end we are much further along in the road to recovery. When I was going through my divorce, my then 13 year old daughter said something along the lines of it seems like (ex) has just forgotten everything/everyone. How did he do that. At that point I explained, 5 years from now when we are enjoying life and his is catching up to him you will see how he did that. 5 years later we are happy, and as happily dysfunctional as we can be. Ex is still looking for ??? Funny thing is one of the reasons he gave for not wanting to be married anymore is that he was tired of being alone. He is military and deployed alot etc. 5 years later he is still alone and being the single guy in the crowd he is deployed alot. Go Figure. So, even though it seems like we are hurting alot more then they are, I think the hurt is universal and catches up to everyone.

Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 9:20pm

People move on quicker

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 4:30pm

I agree with first's take that the one's who have mad the decision to divorce are the one's who usually have worked through their emotional pain already by the time the legal stuff occurs. It seems to be the most painful when it's a big surprise to one spouse. I also believe from my own experience that the degree of post-divorce conflict also impacts on the recovery process.

Based on my own personal and very nonscientific experience and knowledge of others' experiences, the men seem to move on quicker to new partners. The women seem to be more thoughtful and spend more time single.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2002
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 5:34pm
LOL~~~What if your Ex husband has 4 ex's now...think he'll be real quick to run out and get another..OMG
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 5:54pm
If he had any sense he'd run to the monastery!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 11:16am

I vote for:


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2004
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 1:24pm
I don't think it has anything to do with a person's gender, I think it has more to do with whether a person had already grieved over their failed marriage while they were still married, or whether they only started to accept the divorce when someone filed. For both my ex and myself, we both felt we had done everything we could to save our marriage, we had mourned our marriage while we were still attempting to save it. So when I filed, we were both able to literally just walk away - all the hurt had already been long gone.