Do they always come back & grovel?
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| Wed, 03-15-2006 - 4:25pm |
Had a bad day today....I think b/c I am sick (just a cold) and I had a bad dream last night so I woke up sad and missing the ex. I am struggling with the desire that he come back and want me back. Not that I would take him back after the infidelity and knowledge that he is in love with the OW (or at least thinks he is after being w/ her for 7 months) but I just want him to GROVEL!
So my question is how many of you had your ex come back? So many people tell me he will...I know my happiness can't rely on if he does or not, but I really, really want him to. I haven't seen or spoken to him in 9 days and the "not knowing" is really getting to me. Is he thinking about me? Is he sad? Is he working things out with her? I have spoken to members of his family but no one has mentioned anything and I haven't asked.
Just curious......

Hugs, Brenda
Hugs, Brenda
Beanie, I'm so grateful mine did NOT come back and grovel because it made me stronger. He was as undecided about our separation as he was about our marriage. He was very careful never to make any move that would take a stand one way or another---has always been that way, always will be!
If anything, I dumped him for that, not because he cheated or failed to love me. He failed to make a decision about just about everything. Who needs it?
But to be honest, even if yours did grovel, would it be in your best interest to take him back? Of course not! Once a cheater, always a cheater. You will continue to feel bad about this until he cheats on the OW (Which he will). Then you just better pray he is not back at your doorstep to jerk you around a second time.
Susie
Honey what you are feeling is absolutely normal. I too went through the wanting him to come back. Sometimes I wanted it so bad it hurt like hell. But deep down I knew it would have been the worst thing that could have happened. He didnt grovel but did come around in the beginning trying to play it both ways and for a while I allowed it and that made me feel worse. It's true once a cheater always a cheater! Im living proof. He cheated on the other woman with me and even on his current gf with me twice. Then I put a stop to it because what I mistook foolishly for the hope of a "reconciliation" was nothing more than him still being a cheater. That's what he will always be.
When I began to gain some strength and resistance that is when he started showing what a real ba$^%rd he is, he got mad that I created boundaries and those boundaries did not allow him to still come to my house and sleep with me, me still cook him a meal and just pop up whenever he wanted even unannounced at times to see our son. Im not proud some of the things Ive done with my ex but its hard when all your hopes and dreams are destroyed. But you should hear how he would say that he changed. Ha. I mean this all happened almost a year ago but just goes to show that a leopard cant change it's spots.
The best thing I did was create those boundaries and stick to them. It was hard, believe me very hard but once you stick to it, it gets easier. I never thought I was get over it but I did and Im so much better now. I wouldnt go back to that for nothing in the world. I remember those days of wanting to talk to him, counting the days of not talking to him on the phone. Dont call him. Let the distance continue to grow, it will only help. Just go through the process IT WILL GET BETTER, use this site, it was the best thing that happened to me, journal, PRAY, read. Talk to us all the time. We are here for you whenever you need us.
Love L
My x2b told me point blank that he wasn't the kind of man to go groveling in the sand and begging for forgiveness.
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***