Custody battles?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2006
Custody battles?
2
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 9:36pm
We have our orientation tomorrow for mediation. I can't even believe I just wrote that. My husband is seeking 50-50 time with the kids. I will not agree for many reasons. How many of you have 50 50 shared custody? Did you do it willingly or was there a battle? I don't want there to be a battle but it looks as if there will be...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 9:28am

HUGS to you. I hope your mediation session goes well today.


OK, the 50-50 custody situation.....


When STBX and I first separated, I posted something very similar to you. Shortly after I left the house, he suddenly expressed an interest in a 50-50 split. This was the man who was NEVER home before. At, first, I absolutely freaked out! After all, I had been DS's primary caregiver all these years. I was around every day. How was this going to work? Then I realized....this is what DS wanted, too. Equal time with his parents. Right now, we're at about a 55/45 split (I have my son after school every day). At first, it was VERY hard. But over time, I have begun to enjoy my breaks. I know the custody arrangement SOUNDS catastrophic at first, but it's not as bad as it seems. Keep in mind, it is possible for your STBX to get this arrangement, so try to prepare yourself mentally for it.


Also, based on our incomes, I do get child support, even though the custody is fairly evenly split. However, that varies from state to state.


Hang in there.

What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 9:36am

I am a stepmom of 2 boys and we have 50/50 custody. It works out beautifully and the boys enjoy the best of both worlds.

When my DH and his ex 1st divorced she fought him in court for 18 months over custody issues and it cost him $16,000 to get standard visitation. She probably spent $30,000 because she was the one initiating the battle and he was just responding, she used her attorney for everyday communication at $200 an hour.

If you want to maintain some control over your own destiny then mediation is the way to go. If you go in with the attitude that you will not negotiate then you will be in front of a judge and, ultimately, he will make the decision for you.