Custody Arrangements

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Custody Arrangements
26
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 7:30am

I was wondering what other people's custody arrangements are. We've got ladies with

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 7:43am

Christine,

My ex and I split our time with our two girls 50/50. She picks them up from school on a Friday afternoon and keeps them until she takes them to school the next Friday morning. Then I pick them up on Friday afternoon and keep them until the following Friday morning. The only problem comes when I have to travel for work. I go out of town about one week a month. Usually my boss is able to schedule this on weeks where I don't have the girls. When this isn't possible my ex keeps them and I just take them some of the days she is normally scheduled for when I get back. This works for us because we have remained friends.

Anyway, that is how we do it. Your schedule seems a bit more confusing. I'm glad you are able to make it work. I don't know that I could keep all the days straight in my jumbled head.

Have a great day.

Michael

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 7:51am
LOL, it does SOUND confusing the way I wrote it! In a nutshell, DS is with me Wednesday through Friday. With dad Saturday through Monday. We alternate Tuesdays. There! That makes more sense :)




What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 8:15am
Now that make more sense! Having every Saturday and Sunday free must be nice!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 8:24am

We are 50/50 and we do the exchange on Fridays as well. I think by doing it on Friday that gives the kids a couple of days to get used to the change before having to start the school week.

BM watches the kids after school on our weeks and in the summer and we continue to pay full child support for that. We also split every holiday and we each have the option of taking the kids for 2 full weeks in the summer for vacations. We are going to use that this summer for the 1st time because we are going to Grand Cayman for 10 days in June.

It works out well for us and the boys really seem to like it as well. I have heard a lot of people who don't do the 50/50 thing say that it is wrong or bad for kids but it really has worked for us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 8:25am

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 8:43am
I stand corrected! Having to work 24 hours every weekend might not be the most pleasant experience. It is nice however that your son can stay with you at work. Are you self-employed or do you have an understanding boss?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 10:06am

Hey, no problem, I have a confusing life...lol!


I actually work from home. BUT, I am an intake specialist, so I am pretty much tethered to my phone and computer for those 24 hours.




What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 10:12am
As you guys know Im trying to arrange an agreement now with my ex. Currently he has every other weekend from 11-6pm. Our son is three. I offered him weekdays and he said he didnt have the time he's in school so go figure. I cant imagine what else he is pushing for maybe overnights? But he is his own enemy on that, Im not hindering that possibility, he wont get the carpet in his place pulled up. I'm willing to give some overnights though im not thrilled about it since he's being such a jerk but I keep telling myself he wont be crazy enough to do something dumb like hurt the baby to get to me. His hostility towards me is outrageous and scary. But he has to love the baby, I just have to keep telling myself that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 12:26pm
I have primary residence. The kids are with him every other weekend from Friday at 4:00 until Sunday at 7:00. They have dinner visit with him every Wednesday from 4:00 until 7:45. They go to bed and wake up at HOME every school night. I'm actually in the process of eliminating his overnights, because he just moved in with his girlfriend of 7 weeks who has 2 daughters... so that now makes her two, plus our two, and he has a daughter from a previous relationship before me.... yup, FIVE kids and the TWO of them in a two bedroom apartment. I have issues with his "adult decision making ability", so I am hoping that his visitation is cut back in the near future.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 12:31pm

I didn't know that word "custody" would hit me so hard! I know that it's something I can't avoid talking about or thinking about but I just haven't had to say, "I have custody". Is that silly?

Right now bc we still live close to each other and this whole situation is VERY new (1.5 months) my stbx was here with our 2 year old daughter after he got out of work until she went to bed or 10pm...she's not on a schedule since this all started. Then he has her from about 10am-8pm on weekends.

Now he doesn't think he is getting enough "down time" so he took off early last night at 8:30pm and he is taking tonight off completely.

We will be moving 8 hours away in about a month and he says he'll see her on the weekends....he is obviously misinformed about the budget he has to work with once he pays support! I've tried telling him and he doesn't get it.

Once we move to NC he'll probably see our daughter one or twice a month on the weekends. He'll probably get a hotel room and have her stay with him and spoil her rotten and then I'll have to deal with her being crushed when he leaves on Sunday morning to drive back to wherever it is he's living. They will probably talk on the phone a bunch (as much as a 2 year old will anyway) and he been talking about this webcam type thing to visit her on.

Obviously we haven't ironed out a plan nor do we have a clue about anything other than she's living with me and I pretty much have the say on what she does from here on out. He's content with that and actually said to me the other night that he wanted to take her out to dinner and with him to pay the dep. on his apt. if it was okay with me. Guess he though I was going to make him stay at the house with her and hang out, like he would have before the separation.

Any pointers and advice are greatly welcome while we are still feeling out the situation.

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