"Broken" home/ "Broken" family
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| Tue, 04-04-2006 - 12:52pm |
I saw this phrase used in a post today. I know that it is commonly used and that absolutely NO HARM or ill will was meant by the phrase, but I gotta say that I don't like using it to describe my children's family or home.
I can't speak for anyone else. . .but I don't feel our family is broken. . .we've had to redefine it in terms of who lives where and how we interact with each other, but broken. . .no. I don't feel our home is broken, either. Again, one of our original family members doesn't reside at our address, but that didn't break our home or the type of environment I was (and still am) trying to create for our family.
Am I the only one that feels this way. . .or do you have any negative connotations with phrases like 'broken home' or 'in-tact' home?
What phrases DO you use to describe your family situation now?

Yeah, I am NOT a big fan of that term. I'll tell you, this family was more broken when I was married. My DS lived in a househoild with a miserable mother and an absent father who were constantly at odds and completely unhappy. Now? He has LOTS more time and attention from his dad and a mom that's actually happy for the first time in YEARS.
I don't have a specific word or term I use to describe our family situation, but I definitely wouldn't use "broken." I know it's commonly used and no one means anything insulting by it, but the phrase definitely has a negative ring to it. Maybe I'd consider us a "changed" family :)
What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The word "broken" caught my eyes and heart as well. It's a little long, but the phrase I find my self using a lot is "new way of being a family".
Fortunately, even though we definately live in "Small Town USA", NO ONE has made my children feel like their family is inferior to theirs because they now have two homes. I wake up thankful for that every day. :)
Before my STBX and I separated I was having some serious doubts as to what I wanted. I was afraid of what would happen to my children if they were raised in a "broken" home. Well, my therapist set me straight on that one. Do you remember that show 'Grace Under Fire'? In one episode she's having a conference with her son's teacher because of some behavioral problems. The teacher says that she thinks that he is having these problems because he is in a "broken home". Grace, the mom, says to the teacher that no, her home WAS broken, but she'd fixed it!
I don't use this term to describe my family. I do feel that our family is broken...I know that in time I won't feel broken. Each day I take steps towards healing my family (my daughter & I and our kitty of course!) Each day we try to enjoy our special time together and bond even more than we were before. When my stbx was in the house there was so much drama that my daughter didn't get the attention she deserved and it made her act out so bad...as if terrible two's weren't enough to handle!
One day I will be confident enough to say that I fixed my family and that I took out the trash! I'm really looking for that magic wand to wave and take away the emotions...without those things would be so much easier!!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~