Guardian question-situation with ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2005
Guardian question-situation with ex
2
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 2:03pm

Gardian Ad Litem question....A little background

DD called to ask her dad if he had the insurance information (he has been telling her along with myself, first it was March 1st, then April 1st) She is excited and anxious to get her braces going this is the reason she asked about it...he started screaming at her that it wasn't going to be until May 1st now. She was upset and called me...sobbing that her dad was yelling and I mean yelling at her about this. I called EX and calmly asked him what was going on...he immediately started screaming at me in the same manner....saying things like....It's none of your Da&n business when the insurance goes into effect and don't ever call my F&&ing cell phone again. (Great way to try and co-parent isn't it) I did call back a few times and he hung up each time. He then went back to his house in between all of this....Threw, literally threw the insurance card at DD and said to her....Here are the f&&ing cards, as far as i'm concerned you don't need braces, your not getting braces and i'm not paying for a da&n thing...She was sobbing...he then said to her "that he no longer wishes to be a part of her life"...she was hysterical and called me again. I did my best to calm her down...left work about 15 min early to go and pick her up. The insurance card that he threw at her is for vision coverage..not medical nor dental...the effective date is 3/1/07. So there is insurance available...he is just continuing his game playing.

This is extremely abusive to my daughter emotionally...she doesn not need this!

I am going to make the appointment for her braces....if he wants to play these games then he can be responsible for 70% of the total bill, rather than 70% of the bill after insurance covers 50%. For example....Braces cost 4000.00..70% of 4000.00 is 2800.00, versus discounted price after insurance coverage of 2000.00...70% of 2000.00 is 1400.00. I will pay my 30%...it will hurt him alot more in the pocket book than me. My daughter needs these braces and I will not let him continue to play these games and hurt the kids.

So, we have a guardian involved in the case as we have a hearing coming up in June. I had my first home visit with her last week and it went Greeeeaaaatttt! I don't know how his went. However, I'm unclear as to exactly what her role is...is she to act as a mediator when things like this arise, should she be contacted with this information. I don't want to come across like I"m bad mouthing him...but i feel she needs to know the facts. Please anyone been there done that, any insight?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 12:01am

Sending hugs to you and your daughter. . .

I would DEFINITELY tell the gal about this. She will ask your daughter about it as well. This is the reason for the gals. In any court case, both sides (parents) will try to portray themselves as the "best" for the child, etc. At her age, your daughter should be able to have a say in where she lives, etc.--if that's even in question. But she should never be yelled at, cussed at, etc. especially by a parent. We all lose our tempers from time to time, but to me, his behavior crossed the line into mental abuse. It's hard enough for kids of any ages to go through a divorce without having the problems being thrown in their faces.

Best of Luck,
Becka

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 12:09am
Gee I really don't know how old your DD is but let her tell gaurdian. If she wants to. If you do it would look like you are causing trouble. Contact your attorney and discuss it with them. Also unless things have changed, you will have to pay upfront for braces. Then collect money from EX. Which isn't always so easy. My ex was suppose to pay for braces, never did, Dentist wanted money, I told him so do I. Kid never got braces.